I don't know if any of my children have ADD or ADHD, but I do know that seeing a task through from start to finish doesn't happen easily for any of them and there are a number of family members who have taken medication to increase their attention spans. Child A is getting much better at it with maturity. Child B and has been learning to cope with it and her focus has improved somewhat, while Child C is oblivious to the need to pay attention to anything for any given time.
Just a few evenings ago, Child B was looking forward to playing a game on loan from the library. She had it in her hand at one moment and it was lost the next. Of course, it was due the next day, so if she didn't find it soon there would be late fees and maybe a replacement fee involved. This poor kid looked everywhere, retracing her steps several time. She even put something of similar size in her hand and retraced her steps to see if there were someplace she had been where it may have been difficult to hold on to it, like climbing up or down the bunk bed. She really put a lot of thought into how it may have been lost. After praying a number of times and fretting herself to sleep, we finally found it mid-morning the following day.
I consider it huge progress in maturity and interest in changing habits when Child B recognizes a problem with her behavior and takes action to change it. Today, she had a DVD in her hand and by the time she reached the player to insert it, she had lost the DVD. This is a regular occurrence in our house, as you can see by the game incident earlier this week. Frequently, she will blame her younger sister for moving whatever it was she lost, but this time she knew it was in her hand and no one took it from her. She still hasn't found it, but found another she wanted to watch in place of it. As she put the case away, she stated aloud, "I'm putting the DVD on top of these other movies. I heard on the radio that if you have trouble remembering where you put things, it helps to say it out loud."
Not only did she hear about a behavior and recognize that she, herself, has the same difficulty, she listened to a recommended solution and decided to try it out. In this instance, it worked. She remembered after putting the case away where she had placed the movie. If you have a child who struggles with learning how to change behavior, you know how much I feel like celebrating!
Do you or your children struggle with paying attention or remembering?
What non-medication techniques have you found to be helpful?
Showing posts with label Child B. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child B. Show all posts
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Facebook versus Blogger, Round 3: 10/2010-12/2010
11/1/2010 - My kids are cracking me up this evening. Earlier, a limousine passed us and 1 said, "OOh, It could be Miley Cyrus." Another said, "Or Taylor Swift!" Then my 4-year old (C) said, "Or the 3 chipmunks! Alvin & his brothers." Just now, my 10 year old said, "Mom, it no longer hurts when I poke myself with a needle." How should I reply to that?!?
11/4/2012 - This is just the kind of things programmers enjoy doing... and waiting for someone to discover it. :-)
1. Go to Google maps
2. Go to "get directions"
3. Type "Japan" as the start location
4. Type "China" as the end location
5. Go to direction #43
Repeat the same with San Francisco, CA & Honolulu, HI. Notice direction #15.
Repeat same with Honolulu, HI & Japan. Notice direction #7.
At least the developers have a sense of humor!
11/5/2010 - I am exhausted. I wanted to send the kids home after school so I could rest. Their school *is* their home. That didn't work out so well for me today. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and an extra hour of sleep tomorrow night!
11/6/2010 - I like to mess with my kids' dreams. They all talk in their sleep sometimes and sometimes I talk back to see where their dream takes them. Tonight, I was talking to my 4yo (C) after she fell asleep. I said, "Oh you have ice sickles on
your knees!" and her whole body shivered for about 5 seconds. Too funny.
11/8/2010 - I stopped everything in the middle of the day in order to shower my 4-year old (C), thanks to a lotion-in-the-hair incident.
11/10/2010 - Seeing a new momma dog and her puppies and discussing it: The mom is white and the puppies are black and white, what color do you think the dad is? "Purple" says my 7 year old (B).
11/12/2010 - I just told my 10-year old daughter (A), "Your mouth is polluting my ears!" Yes, I just said that.
11/15/2010 - On the way home from gymnastics tonight, my 7-year old (B) says, "I'm going home, putting on my pajamas, having dessert, and sleeping until May!" :)
11/20/2010 - The girls just flew through the house like wild animals. Hubby asked, "All right, who is dressed and ready to go outside?" Just then they ran by again, opened the door, and flew out. I'm pretty sure one was still in a summery nightgown. It's 42 degrees. And no one was wearing shoes.
11/20/2010 - 3 girls just came running in screaming. "Eeeeeeeeee. There are 3 spiders in the living room. THREEEEEEE SPIIIIIIIDDEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSSSS!!!!!" {Hahahahahaha}
12/1/2010 - My 4 (C) and 7 (B) year olds are talking about birthdays. 7yo: "Mom, do I have a birthday the same year as Christmas?"
Me: "Yes, you do." 7yo, curiously: "No, I have a birthday every 11 years." 4yo, competitively: "Me, too!!!" I love the simple minds of children!
12/9/2010 - My 3 daughters worked together to make lasagna tonight. It's delicious! I'm a happy momma!
12/10/2010 - Well, it was bound to happen at some point. The third (C) of my daughters cut her hair this afternoon. I'm still crying. :( I don't know how anyone gets any housework at all done while they have children. I'm ready to give up.
12/11/2010 - Hubby just asked the girls to bring him a beer from the 'fridge. They brought him a bottle of soy sauce. According to them, he *almost* took a drink.
12/13/2010 - Child A trying to help Child C with reading: "Let's pretend you're in school and we're learning our 'i-n' words." C: "Pretend I'm not coming either" and she just sits there and doesn't get up to "play."
12/17/2010 - I was stuck in an elevator at a local library this afternoon. Did you know that when there are lots of kids in the library, nobody pays any attention to the emergency alarm in the elevator?
12/23/2010 - My 4-year old (C) is dreaming of something tasty. She is chewing and smiling in her sleep. Must be from all the baking we've been doing this week. I ♥ when my kids have "sweet dreams"!
12/24/2010 - I just showed the girls where Santa is *right now*. They were so excited, but just as eager to get to bed. Have you seen how fast he delivers gifts? I'm right behind them because I don't want to be awake when he gets here either!
12/29/2010 - My local grocery store has coupons printed on the back of their receipts. My 10-year old (A) just found one that expires 3/33/11. I needed a giggle after she damaged my camera during a photography class today. Even better that it was her that made me giggle!
11/4/2012 - This is just the kind of things programmers enjoy doing... and waiting for someone to discover it. :-)
1. Go to Google maps
2. Go to "get directions"
3. Type "Japan" as the start location
4. Type "China" as the end location
5. Go to direction #43
Repeat the same with San Francisco, CA & Honolulu, HI. Notice direction #15.
Repeat same with Honolulu, HI & Japan. Notice direction #7.
At least the developers have a sense of humor!
11/5/2010 - I am exhausted. I wanted to send the kids home after school so I could rest. Their school *is* their home. That didn't work out so well for me today. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and an extra hour of sleep tomorrow night!
11/6/2010 - I like to mess with my kids' dreams. They all talk in their sleep sometimes and sometimes I talk back to see where their dream takes them. Tonight, I was talking to my 4yo (C) after she fell asleep. I said, "Oh you have ice sickles on
your knees!" and her whole body shivered for about 5 seconds. Too funny.
11/8/2010 - I stopped everything in the middle of the day in order to shower my 4-year old (C), thanks to a lotion-in-the-hair incident.
11/10/2010 - Seeing a new momma dog and her puppies and discussing it: The mom is white and the puppies are black and white, what color do you think the dad is? "Purple" says my 7 year old (B).
11/12/2010 - I just told my 10-year old daughter (A), "Your mouth is polluting my ears!" Yes, I just said that.
11/15/2010 - On the way home from gymnastics tonight, my 7-year old (B) says, "I'm going home, putting on my pajamas, having dessert, and sleeping until May!" :)
11/20/2010 - The girls just flew through the house like wild animals. Hubby asked, "All right, who is dressed and ready to go outside?" Just then they ran by again, opened the door, and flew out. I'm pretty sure one was still in a summery nightgown. It's 42 degrees. And no one was wearing shoes.
11/20/2010 - 3 girls just came running in screaming. "Eeeeeeeeee. There are 3 spiders in the living room. THREEEEEEE SPIIIIIIIDDEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSSSS!!!!!" {Hahahahahaha}
12/1/2010 - My 4 (C) and 7 (B) year olds are talking about birthdays. 7yo: "Mom, do I have a birthday the same year as Christmas?"
Me: "Yes, you do." 7yo, curiously: "No, I have a birthday every 11 years." 4yo, competitively: "Me, too!!!" I love the simple minds of children!
12/9/2010 - My 3 daughters worked together to make lasagna tonight. It's delicious! I'm a happy momma!
12/10/2010 - Well, it was bound to happen at some point. The third (C) of my daughters cut her hair this afternoon. I'm still crying. :( I don't know how anyone gets any housework at all done while they have children. I'm ready to give up.
12/11/2010 - Hubby just asked the girls to bring him a beer from the 'fridge. They brought him a bottle of soy sauce. According to them, he *almost* took a drink.
12/13/2010 - Child A trying to help Child C with reading: "Let's pretend you're in school and we're learning our 'i-n' words." C: "Pretend I'm not coming either" and she just sits there and doesn't get up to "play."
12/17/2010 - I was stuck in an elevator at a local library this afternoon. Did you know that when there are lots of kids in the library, nobody pays any attention to the emergency alarm in the elevator?
12/23/2010 - My 4-year old (C) is dreaming of something tasty. She is chewing and smiling in her sleep. Must be from all the baking we've been doing this week. I ♥ when my kids have "sweet dreams"!
12/24/2010 - I just showed the girls where Santa is *right now*. They were so excited, but just as eager to get to bed. Have you seen how fast he delivers gifts? I'm right behind them because I don't want to be awake when he gets here either!
12/29/2010 - My local grocery store has coupons printed on the back of their receipts. My 10-year old (A) just found one that expires 3/33/11. I needed a giggle after she damaged my camera during a photography class today. Even better that it was her that made me giggle!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Lazy day with a giggle
Apparently, today is a lazy day. Two of the three girls are still in their pajamas and it's noon. That's just one of the nice things about homeschooling. I mean, how many people who work from home participate in conference calls in their pajamas? A lot. Believe me. I used to work in Corporate America and I've talked to these people.
Not being dressed is not the only indicator that it's a lazy day in my house. My 6th grader asked me, "Mom, what's 9 times 4?" I just looked at her because I know she knows the answer. I guess she thought I didn't hear her because she repeated her question. Hesitantly, I told her it was 27. Her mouth dropped open in shock and she looked like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar as she said, "Mom! It is not! That's 9 times 3." I smiled and told her that if she knows 9 times 3, then she can figure out 9 times 4." (Glimpse into my thoughts: Really. Yesterday you learned binary, but today you don't know your multiplication tables? I don't think so.) She replied back that I was really smart. Wow. I will hold onto this moment (recorded here for historical documentation) because I know there will come a time in the not too distant future when she will stuggle a bit to define herself and she may not recognize her mother's wisdom.
In not being lazy, I need to schedule two dentist appointments because B lost part of a filling and C has a toothache. For the record, it is never a good sign when your daughter brings you chunks of white from her mouth and asks if they are pieces of a filling. Ugh. At least she brought it to me. This is the daughter who suffered from nearly debilitating anxiety a few years ago about the dentist.
My laugh for the day (well, my first, hopefully there will be more) was when C came up to me and asked, "Mom, you know how I have a big head and a tiny little body?" "Uhm, no, I didn't know that. Do you think you do?"
How is your day going?
Not being dressed is not the only indicator that it's a lazy day in my house. My 6th grader asked me, "Mom, what's 9 times 4?" I just looked at her because I know she knows the answer. I guess she thought I didn't hear her because she repeated her question. Hesitantly, I told her it was 27. Her mouth dropped open in shock and she looked like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar as she said, "Mom! It is not! That's 9 times 3." I smiled and told her that if she knows 9 times 3, then she can figure out 9 times 4." (Glimpse into my thoughts: Really. Yesterday you learned binary, but today you don't know your multiplication tables? I don't think so.) She replied back that I was really smart. Wow. I will hold onto this moment (recorded here for historical documentation) because I know there will come a time in the not too distant future when she will stuggle a bit to define herself and she may not recognize her mother's wisdom.
In not being lazy, I need to schedule two dentist appointments because B lost part of a filling and C has a toothache. For the record, it is never a good sign when your daughter brings you chunks of white from her mouth and asks if they are pieces of a filling. Ugh. At least she brought it to me. This is the daughter who suffered from nearly debilitating anxiety a few years ago about the dentist.
My laugh for the day (well, my first, hopefully there will be more) was when C came up to me and asked, "Mom, you know how I have a big head and a tiny little body?" "Uhm, no, I didn't know that. Do you think you do?"
How is your day going?
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
A Mysterious Name on the Wall
I'm sure all kids write on the wall at some point or another. I don't remember doing it myself, but I'm sure I did. However, it always surprises me when mine do it. I just expect more from them, for them to obey and learn when I tell them to only write on paper. Maybe it's their creativity and using a different medium than paper.
Anyway, it wasn't long ago when Child C's name appeared on the cabinet under the sink in the kitchen. Black letters, not very large, but still there. How did I know who the culprit was? Her name begins with "S" and a few years ago when Child A was learning cursive, C decided to turn her "S" around backwards so she could link the letters together better; her attempt at cursive even before she had mastered printing. So there it was, her name, starting with a "2", instead of an "S". A dead-giveaway.
I asked her if she used a permanant marker, to which her reply was, "No, I used a Sharpie." Sigh. She had to scrub it off. Here's how good my kids are at scrubbing... I gave her a damp paper towel and told her to scrub until it came off. Now, I know that a damp paper towel won't take the marker off, but I wanted her to have to work for it. After about 5 minutes, she helped herself to the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser in the cabinet. At least she knows what takes off permanant marker!
Just a week ago, I found Child B's name written vertically on the door jamb in the kitchen. I don't know if she was staking her claim or what. This is the same door jamb she used to climb when she was younger. She, too, had to use a damp paper towel to scrub. She, too, asked for the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm sure your children have written on something in your house. Please share your story in the comments.
Anyway, it wasn't long ago when Child C's name appeared on the cabinet under the sink in the kitchen. Black letters, not very large, but still there. How did I know who the culprit was? Her name begins with "S" and a few years ago when Child A was learning cursive, C decided to turn her "S" around backwards so she could link the letters together better; her attempt at cursive even before she had mastered printing. So there it was, her name, starting with a "2", instead of an "S". A dead-giveaway.
I asked her if she used a permanant marker, to which her reply was, "No, I used a Sharpie." Sigh. She had to scrub it off. Here's how good my kids are at scrubbing... I gave her a damp paper towel and told her to scrub until it came off. Now, I know that a damp paper towel won't take the marker off, but I wanted her to have to work for it. After about 5 minutes, she helped herself to the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser in the cabinet. At least she knows what takes off permanant marker!
Just a week ago, I found Child B's name written vertically on the door jamb in the kitchen. I don't know if she was staking her claim or what. This is the same door jamb she used to climb when she was younger. She, too, had to use a damp paper towel to scrub. She, too, asked for the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm sure your children have written on something in your house. Please share your story in the comments.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Facebook versus Blogger, Round 2: 8/2010-10/2010
8/13/2010 -- I was listening to 4-year old, Child C, talk about God being alive in her heart. "He NEVER sleeps, Mom! He's always awake in there - even at night!"
8/22/2010 -- I'm thinking of all of you whose kids are either already back in school or getting ready to go back to school.... nya-nya-nya-nya-nya. We're still enjoying summer!!! (And not sick of them being home!) :)
9/7/2010 -- There is truth in every single message in this video and it communicates them very well. Moms and Moms-to-be, this is for you! (Thanks, Karen, for sharing this on Facebook!)
9/9/2010 -- I love Praise Moves for Children!!! My 4-year old is stretching and exercising while repeating scripture. It keeps her busy while the other 2 work on handwriting, math, and language. One of these days I'm going to have to check out the videos for adults!
9/21/2010 -- I just finished helping my second grader, Child B, fill in a missing verb. I ______ a little boy. She cheerfully fills in "hit", "I hit a little boy." If you know her, then you know that she speaks the truth. She has indeed hit many little boys. {sigh}
9/30/2010 -- I just pulled my oldest baby girl's (10 & 1/4 today) last baby tooth. {sniffle} {wiping away tears}
10/5/2010 -- I was helping my 7-year old daughter, Child B, with math at the dining room table when I realized she was standing up rather than sitting. I asked her the obvious, "You'd rather stand than sit?" She replied, "I'd rather be a peacock!"
10/7/2010 -- I'm sure my kids would fail this experiment, too, but I will show this to them anyway. Too much of what we eat isn't meant to be called "food." Thanks, Chris, for sharing it on Facebook.
10/8/2010 -- My kids have discovered that sticks fit in the pencil sharpener.
10/12/2010 -- Two hours to bake 3 fozen pizzas that should take 15 minutes each. Hmmm. That doesn't seem right. Guess I'll be making a phone call to an oven repairman soon... (I'm really ready to not have any more unexpected expenses for a while - this year has been full of the unexpected.)
10/14/2010 -- During their time in the mine, one of the Chilean miners had sent up a note saying there were 34 down there, not 33, because God was with them. Makes me think of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the furnace of fire. But when King Nebuchadnezzar looked in, he saw 4, not 3, walking around unharmed in the fire. (Daniel 3)
10/22/2010 -- I had a nice conversation today with the kids. In the midst of them grumbling I asked, "What blessings would *you* count right now?" Child B came up with the first: "I'm blessed that I don't live in an orphanage!" She also came up with the second: "I'm also blessed that I don't work in a factory because kids can really get hurt in factories!" (I guess the movie Samantha has really had an impact on her.)
10/25/2010 -- Child A just asked me if Goliath was *really* a giant pickle. She's 10. Can I just say that apparently there is such a thing as TooMuchVeggieTales?!
10/28/2010 -- I went in to check on my girls at 11:30 and 2/3 of them were still awake and goofing around. Must be time to fold some laundry. They finished their load and promptly went to bed for real this time.
8/22/2010 -- I'm thinking of all of you whose kids are either already back in school or getting ready to go back to school.... nya-nya-nya-nya-nya. We're still enjoying summer!!! (And not sick of them being home!) :)
9/7/2010 -- There is truth in every single message in this video and it communicates them very well. Moms and Moms-to-be, this is for you! (Thanks, Karen, for sharing this on Facebook!)
9/9/2010 -- I love Praise Moves for Children!!! My 4-year old is stretching and exercising while repeating scripture. It keeps her busy while the other 2 work on handwriting, math, and language. One of these days I'm going to have to check out the videos for adults!
9/21/2010 -- I just finished helping my second grader, Child B, fill in a missing verb. I ______ a little boy. She cheerfully fills in "hit", "I hit a little boy." If you know her, then you know that she speaks the truth. She has indeed hit many little boys. {sigh}
9/30/2010 -- I just pulled my oldest baby girl's (10 & 1/4 today) last baby tooth. {sniffle} {wiping away tears}
10/5/2010 -- I was helping my 7-year old daughter, Child B, with math at the dining room table when I realized she was standing up rather than sitting. I asked her the obvious, "You'd rather stand than sit?" She replied, "I'd rather be a peacock!"
10/7/2010 -- I'm sure my kids would fail this experiment, too, but I will show this to them anyway. Too much of what we eat isn't meant to be called "food." Thanks, Chris, for sharing it on Facebook.
10/8/2010 -- My kids have discovered that sticks fit in the pencil sharpener.
10/12/2010 -- Two hours to bake 3 fozen pizzas that should take 15 minutes each. Hmmm. That doesn't seem right. Guess I'll be making a phone call to an oven repairman soon... (I'm really ready to not have any more unexpected expenses for a while - this year has been full of the unexpected.)
10/14/2010 -- During their time in the mine, one of the Chilean miners had sent up a note saying there were 34 down there, not 33, because God was with them. Makes me think of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the furnace of fire. But when King Nebuchadnezzar looked in, he saw 4, not 3, walking around unharmed in the fire. (Daniel 3)
10/22/2010 -- I had a nice conversation today with the kids. In the midst of them grumbling I asked, "What blessings would *you* count right now?" Child B came up with the first: "I'm blessed that I don't live in an orphanage!" She also came up with the second: "I'm also blessed that I don't work in a factory because kids can really get hurt in factories!" (I guess the movie Samantha has really had an impact on her.)
10/25/2010 -- Child A just asked me if Goliath was *really* a giant pickle. She's 10. Can I just say that apparently there is such a thing as TooMuchVeggieTales?!
10/28/2010 -- I went in to check on my girls at 11:30 and 2/3 of them were still awake and goofing around. Must be time to fold some laundry. They finished their load and promptly went to bed for real this time.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Facebook versus Blogger, Round 1: 6/2010-7/2010
I've mentioned that since I joined Facebook, my blog has suffered. Well, I'm recapping my Facebook statuses that pertained, or may be of interest, to my family so that others in my family who are not on Facebook can feel more connected. Many of the statuses actually apply to the blog; it's just easier to type up a one or two line comment and hit enter than to create tiny blog posts. So, if you've seen them on Facebook, you will get to enjoy them once again here. Some of them may have more background information or details than when they were put on Facebook. If you don't care to re-read them, then just skip over any blog post that has the heading "Facebook versus Blogger". :)
This round is from June and July of 2010, so keep in mind all the kids are a year and a half older now.
6/26/2010 -- I want to know: Who hid their gum on the carpet behind the plant??? My guess, a certain 4 year old sneaky little girl!
7/2/2010 -- "Dear Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, I LOVE YOU! With <5 drops of H2O on a corner and wrung out, you take ballpoint pen off the cover of a hardback book. In doing so, you spared 4-yo Child C a beating from 7-yo Child B. You are amazing. Thank you for restoring peace between my children. Oh and for the super-cleaning job! Now if you'd only begin taking the initiative to clean the rest of my home without me having to hold onto you."
7/3/2010 -- If you come visit, you might be surprised and wonder about the whole roll of toilet paper unrolled in a heap on the bathroom floor... or you might not.
7/5/2010-- All of a sudden there are bubbles floating around my family room…
7/8/2010 -- If you hear a watermelon gurgling, get it out of the house NOW! Or it might already be too late.
7/8/2010 -- First, a watermelon exploded in the kitchen. Second, 4yo S peed in front of the 'fridge (again). Let's not think about "third time's a charm" today, m'kay? Just sayin!
7/8/2010 -- "The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being." Warren Buffett
7/8/2010 -- Walking through the kitchen just now I found a sliced kiwi on the kid's table and my kitchen scissors on the counter - covered in kiwi. Creative. Funny thing is, the kids have only been home a few times today for a few minutes each time. When did they do this? It must have been during the lightening snack round!
7/12/2010 -- Two of the 3 kids are eating salisbury steak, the other is eating what I actually made for dinner. 4yo Child C just asked for more roastberry beef. She just cracks me up!
7/14/2010 -- kitchen floor + 1/2 gallon of lemonade + disobedient 4 year old = not a happy momma at the moment. Do you have any idea how much of the kitchen floor a 1/2 gallon of lemonade can cover? I do.
7/18/2010 -- I'm listening to my kids tell me about the time they locked 4yo in the bunny cage. I've heard this story before but always doubted it's reality. Now I'm starting to believe it. But only the basic version, not the embellishments that keep getting added: it was all day, mom and dad weren't home, mom wasn't home and dad was asleep. Those are just too unlikely. But would 7yo Child B lock 4yo Child C in the bunny cage? Yes. She would.
7/20/2010 -- I took my 3 girls to see Toy Story 3. Now the kids want all their old toys down from the attic. They don't have any room for them because the house is over-flowing with all the toys that have yet to make it up there. Great, now they'll never want to part with anything! (It's a little frustrating that's what they got out of the movie.)
DING! End of Round 1
This round is from June and July of 2010, so keep in mind all the kids are a year and a half older now.
6/26/2010 -- I want to know: Who hid their gum on the carpet behind the plant??? My guess, a certain 4 year old sneaky little girl!
7/2/2010 -- "Dear Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, I LOVE YOU! With <5 drops of H2O on a corner and wrung out, you take ballpoint pen off the cover of a hardback book. In doing so, you spared 4-yo Child C a beating from 7-yo Child B. You are amazing. Thank you for restoring peace between my children. Oh and for the super-cleaning job! Now if you'd only begin taking the initiative to clean the rest of my home without me having to hold onto you."
7/3/2010 -- If you come visit, you might be surprised and wonder about the whole roll of toilet paper unrolled in a heap on the bathroom floor... or you might not.
7/5/2010-- All of a sudden there are bubbles floating around my family room…
7/8/2010 -- If you hear a watermelon gurgling, get it out of the house NOW! Or it might already be too late.
7/8/2010 -- First, a watermelon exploded in the kitchen. Second, 4yo S peed in front of the 'fridge (again). Let's not think about "third time's a charm" today, m'kay? Just sayin!
7/8/2010 -- "The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being." Warren Buffett
7/8/2010 -- Walking through the kitchen just now I found a sliced kiwi on the kid's table and my kitchen scissors on the counter - covered in kiwi. Creative. Funny thing is, the kids have only been home a few times today for a few minutes each time. When did they do this? It must have been during the lightening snack round!
7/12/2010 -- Two of the 3 kids are eating salisbury steak, the other is eating what I actually made for dinner. 4yo Child C just asked for more roastberry beef. She just cracks me up!
7/14/2010 -- kitchen floor + 1/2 gallon of lemonade + disobedient 4 year old = not a happy momma at the moment. Do you have any idea how much of the kitchen floor a 1/2 gallon of lemonade can cover? I do.
7/18/2010 -- I'm listening to my kids tell me about the time they locked 4yo in the bunny cage. I've heard this story before but always doubted it's reality. Now I'm starting to believe it. But only the basic version, not the embellishments that keep getting added: it was all day, mom and dad weren't home, mom wasn't home and dad was asleep. Those are just too unlikely. But would 7yo Child B lock 4yo Child C in the bunny cage? Yes. She would.
7/20/2010 -- I took my 3 girls to see Toy Story 3. Now the kids want all their old toys down from the attic. They don't have any room for them because the house is over-flowing with all the toys that have yet to make it up there. Great, now they'll never want to part with anything! (It's a little frustrating that's what they got out of the movie.)
DING! End of Round 1
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The light at the end of the tunnel
"There is a light at the end of the tunnel." It's a note of encouragement when things are dark and difficult that things will get better - the light. Looking at the glass as half full, instead of half empty. Being positive. Looking at the bright side. Right?
There is a saying in the autism community. Perhaps you've heard it applied to other situations. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... and it's a train. Yes, I've said it. I've believed it. I've let it get me down and then I feel like I have no hope, not as a mom and not for my daughter. Then one day, God spoke to me and reminded me that He doesn't make mistakes. He knew before He made her that there would be challenges for her. That there would be challenges for us, her parents. But aren't there challenges anyway? Parenting is not easy. In fact, it is probably the hardest thing I have ever done - even without autism and sensory disorders in the mix.
Children have minds of their own. Their own opinions and preferences. Their own pet peeves. Their own attitudes. We try to form them into the people we would like them to become, but they still choose whether to be the way we encourage and influence them to be or whether to explore the foreign territory of temptation. Children learn more by example, mimicry, if you will, than by what we tell them. That's probably what makes parenting so difficult.
I got off track... Let's go back to the light at the end of the tunnel. Child B has always been a little different. In short doses, you likely wouldn't even notice. But we did. Not just in comparison to A, either. Her gross motor skills were beyond belief at a very young age. When most babies were just learning to roll over, B was climbing. She couldn't crawl yet, but she could pull herself up and climb at 5 months. I took A to the bathroom and left my 5-month old baby on a bare floor in a room with a child-size table where A left her lunch of beef-a-roni. What did I find when I came back? B was standing up, holding onto the table, and eating beef-a-roni with one hand! Yes, she was 5-months old. At 10 months, she was learning to walk, which isn't unusual for a 10-month old, but to find her standing on the sit-and-spin, spinning herself and giggling, was a bit unusual. Even more so was pulling her off the arm of the rocking chair, where she was standing and holding onto the back of the chair with one hand, and moving back and forth to make the chair rock, squealing, "Whee!" I knew she would be a handful.
It took some time to put the pieces together that she sought stimulation by swinging, spinning, balancing, etc. She would put things on her head that were heavy in order to feel the pressure. But light touch would send her through the roof. She couldn't be comforted when injured. Not through nursing, swaddling, cuddling, even from birth. She wouldn't have any part of it if she was upset or hurt. She still has a hard time with comfort - 8 years later. And some things just didn't affect her much - like when her elbow was dislocated in a spinning/swinging incident when she was 2. She simply held her wrist and whimpered a few times before falling asleep rather quickly. (I knew something wasn't right and she had it fixed within an hour.) And she avoided groups of peers during play dates, often retreating to a quiet place where she could play alone, but then later she would ask why no one was playing with her.
Now some may ask how early she received any vaccinations, and I will assure you that she was demonstrating enough "quirkiness" early enough that vaccination played no role in the challenges that B has. She did, however, have a completely natural malpositioned birth. She had significant bruising and some muscle rigidity. Did that play a role? Only God knows. And He was OK with it. He has a plan for her and has provided excellent therapeutic services to help her learn how to deal with what is difficult for her and how to interact better with others. What she has not needed any help with, and God has blessed her with, is her ability to tell it like it is. She is very literal and brings great joy to our lives with her questions and quick observations. She notices everything.
When she first became aware of communion, her eyes looked like they would pop out of her head. As the basket of bread and little cups of juice passed, she asked, almost horrified, "Is that really Jesus' skin and blood?" Later that day I explained to her how they represent exactly what she suspected and she had tears in her eyes. I remember thinking that even at the young age she was, "She gets it." She has an amazing knack for understanding things way beyond her years and asking when she doesn't. Silly books like Amelia Bedelia have helped her understand figures of speech and when something isn't literal. In fact, she uses the word "literally" quite frequently in order to let others know when she really means what she's saying.
So, what does this have to do with the light at the end of the tunnel? Well, B has made tremendous progress. We just celebrated her 8th birthday this past week. A couple years ago, when she was 6, she seemed more like a 4-year old in maturity. Now I have to remind myself that she just turned 8, she is not 9! We have stepped into the light.
Oh, but did I mention that in the past couple weeks, my just-turned-5-year old can't stand the way underwear feels? To the point where she won't wear it. She throws herself on the floor screaming, trying to rip it off. She hasn't worn pants in 2 or 3 years because she doesn't like them. She used to wear skorts, until the underwear thing started. She can't stand those now either. She might wear a skirt when we leave the house, if I put it on her and carry her out while she kicks and screams... and I make her wear something under it! She has developed what seems like a cough to an observer. However, it is chronic - every couple seconds, clearing her throat or exhaling deeply, like a sigh, every few seconds. In other words... constantly. What is going on? It's all sensory. While B was mostly a sensory seeker, it seems that C is mostly sensory-avoidant, which is a little more challenging. Think about it... if you know you need something, you seek it out and the need is met. On the other hand, if something bothers you, you will avoid it, even if it the very thing you need in order to get better. She avoids those sensations that she needs to be exposed to in order to get used to it. If you cannot relate to this, just take my word for it - it's hard, it's exhausting, and it's frustrating.
This is where I could say that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train. Yes, I have thought to myself, probably even said out loud, "Great. Another one. I thought this was behind us." I will be honest and say that I don't look forward to taking this road with another daughter because it is so hard - for her and for me. However, the light is real. And God walked with us through it the first time. He is walking with us this time. He never left us. In fact, He knew before we did that 2 of our children would have sensory disorders. I am so thankful it's only a sensory disorder and not something worse - not something that would take her from me yet or that would require expensive medicine or extensive time in the hospital. So thankful that there are known therapies to help her. And I look forward to the day that I rejoice when she shows improvements. We've had glimpses of those days when her struggles are less. I so clearly remember the tears of joy that I cried when B asked me to brush her hair for the first time. She was almost 5 years old and brushing her hair had been torture to her every day of her life to that point. I know that God will get us through this with C, just as He did with B.
And I believe that God does not make mistakes. I trust in Him that He will use these challenges in our lives to glorify Him.
There is a saying in the autism community. Perhaps you've heard it applied to other situations. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... and it's a train. Yes, I've said it. I've believed it. I've let it get me down and then I feel like I have no hope, not as a mom and not for my daughter. Then one day, God spoke to me and reminded me that He doesn't make mistakes. He knew before He made her that there would be challenges for her. That there would be challenges for us, her parents. But aren't there challenges anyway? Parenting is not easy. In fact, it is probably the hardest thing I have ever done - even without autism and sensory disorders in the mix.
Children have minds of their own. Their own opinions and preferences. Their own pet peeves. Their own attitudes. We try to form them into the people we would like them to become, but they still choose whether to be the way we encourage and influence them to be or whether to explore the foreign territory of temptation. Children learn more by example, mimicry, if you will, than by what we tell them. That's probably what makes parenting so difficult.
I got off track... Let's go back to the light at the end of the tunnel. Child B has always been a little different. In short doses, you likely wouldn't even notice. But we did. Not just in comparison to A, either. Her gross motor skills were beyond belief at a very young age. When most babies were just learning to roll over, B was climbing. She couldn't crawl yet, but she could pull herself up and climb at 5 months. I took A to the bathroom and left my 5-month old baby on a bare floor in a room with a child-size table where A left her lunch of beef-a-roni. What did I find when I came back? B was standing up, holding onto the table, and eating beef-a-roni with one hand! Yes, she was 5-months old. At 10 months, she was learning to walk, which isn't unusual for a 10-month old, but to find her standing on the sit-and-spin, spinning herself and giggling, was a bit unusual. Even more so was pulling her off the arm of the rocking chair, where she was standing and holding onto the back of the chair with one hand, and moving back and forth to make the chair rock, squealing, "Whee!" I knew she would be a handful.
It took some time to put the pieces together that she sought stimulation by swinging, spinning, balancing, etc. She would put things on her head that were heavy in order to feel the pressure. But light touch would send her through the roof. She couldn't be comforted when injured. Not through nursing, swaddling, cuddling, even from birth. She wouldn't have any part of it if she was upset or hurt. She still has a hard time with comfort - 8 years later. And some things just didn't affect her much - like when her elbow was dislocated in a spinning/swinging incident when she was 2. She simply held her wrist and whimpered a few times before falling asleep rather quickly. (I knew something wasn't right and she had it fixed within an hour.) And she avoided groups of peers during play dates, often retreating to a quiet place where she could play alone, but then later she would ask why no one was playing with her.
Now some may ask how early she received any vaccinations, and I will assure you that she was demonstrating enough "quirkiness" early enough that vaccination played no role in the challenges that B has. She did, however, have a completely natural malpositioned birth. She had significant bruising and some muscle rigidity. Did that play a role? Only God knows. And He was OK with it. He has a plan for her and has provided excellent therapeutic services to help her learn how to deal with what is difficult for her and how to interact better with others. What she has not needed any help with, and God has blessed her with, is her ability to tell it like it is. She is very literal and brings great joy to our lives with her questions and quick observations. She notices everything.
When she first became aware of communion, her eyes looked like they would pop out of her head. As the basket of bread and little cups of juice passed, she asked, almost horrified, "Is that really Jesus' skin and blood?" Later that day I explained to her how they represent exactly what she suspected and she had tears in her eyes. I remember thinking that even at the young age she was, "She gets it." She has an amazing knack for understanding things way beyond her years and asking when she doesn't. Silly books like Amelia Bedelia have helped her understand figures of speech and when something isn't literal. In fact, she uses the word "literally" quite frequently in order to let others know when she really means what she's saying.
So, what does this have to do with the light at the end of the tunnel? Well, B has made tremendous progress. We just celebrated her 8th birthday this past week. A couple years ago, when she was 6, she seemed more like a 4-year old in maturity. Now I have to remind myself that she just turned 8, she is not 9! We have stepped into the light.
Oh, but did I mention that in the past couple weeks, my just-turned-5-year old can't stand the way underwear feels? To the point where she won't wear it. She throws herself on the floor screaming, trying to rip it off. She hasn't worn pants in 2 or 3 years because she doesn't like them. She used to wear skorts, until the underwear thing started. She can't stand those now either. She might wear a skirt when we leave the house, if I put it on her and carry her out while she kicks and screams... and I make her wear something under it! She has developed what seems like a cough to an observer. However, it is chronic - every couple seconds, clearing her throat or exhaling deeply, like a sigh, every few seconds. In other words... constantly. What is going on? It's all sensory. While B was mostly a sensory seeker, it seems that C is mostly sensory-avoidant, which is a little more challenging. Think about it... if you know you need something, you seek it out and the need is met. On the other hand, if something bothers you, you will avoid it, even if it the very thing you need in order to get better. She avoids those sensations that she needs to be exposed to in order to get used to it. If you cannot relate to this, just take my word for it - it's hard, it's exhausting, and it's frustrating.
This is where I could say that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train. Yes, I have thought to myself, probably even said out loud, "Great. Another one. I thought this was behind us." I will be honest and say that I don't look forward to taking this road with another daughter because it is so hard - for her and for me. However, the light is real. And God walked with us through it the first time. He is walking with us this time. He never left us. In fact, He knew before we did that 2 of our children would have sensory disorders. I am so thankful it's only a sensory disorder and not something worse - not something that would take her from me yet or that would require expensive medicine or extensive time in the hospital. So thankful that there are known therapies to help her. And I look forward to the day that I rejoice when she shows improvements. We've had glimpses of those days when her struggles are less. I so clearly remember the tears of joy that I cried when B asked me to brush her hair for the first time. She was almost 5 years old and brushing her hair had been torture to her every day of her life to that point. I know that God will get us through this with C, just as He did with B.
And I believe that God does not make mistakes. I trust in Him that He will use these challenges in our lives to glorify Him.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Working on 2nd grade math
I've sort of been at a loss for words lately when it comes to writing. Homeschooling is going well this year and we've been off to a great start, which is rather unusual for us. Most of the time (so far), the kids are cooperative and attentive and I can see the wheels turning in their heads while they are learning - both during structured learning and in unstructured learning (cooking, baking, playing, cleaning.)
For instance, one particular day, Child B was having repeated anxiety attacks. I'm not kidding; she has them. It's heart-breaking and frustrating to help a 7-year old through anxiety attacks. She had 4 this particular day. One involved her portable CD player and headphones. She was so focused on it that she just couldn't focus on anything else, but she and I worked together to get her work done so she could have a break. During her break we worked on some of her therapy activities involving gross motor skills. I was hoping it would pull her out of her anxiety. Then she really wanted some computer time, but there was laundry to be folded. Her sisters were ready to help fold, so we got started. After I pulled the laundry basket off the couch and we all sat on the floor, I noticed something on the arm of the couch. It was her CD player. If she had gone off to use the computer or play outside, she would not have found her CD player. Always learning. This lesson was about when we do what we are supposed to, things usually go well for us.
Some days learning comes easier than others. Child A struggled with learning to read and didn't actually enjoy reading until 4th grade. She also didn't like to write because her hand would get tired. Child B taught herself to write and pretty well taught herself to read - twice. That's a story for another time. But this year, 2nd-grade math is a real challenge for her. It's the borrowing and carrying thing that is hard (ahem, I know, re-grouping, for all the classroom teachers. But you knew what I was talking about.) And some of the math facts - like 9s. She'll be trekking right along and have 7 or 8 math problems right and then all of a sudden, every answer is 10. Not really, but that's what she writes. So I erase them,usually yell a bit re-explain what she needs to be doing, then she zips right through them. But when it comes to adding and subtracting 9, she has a hard time. Not adding 9 to 1-10, but to 68 or 74 or 46, y'know. She can do it on her fingers, but it takes her a long time and she will often become distracted by what one of her sisters is doing. So, I tried to give her a short-cut. When you have to add 9, just add 10 then subtract 1.
So, this is how that went. "You have 54 cookies (she likes to use cookies as an example) and I give you 9 more. How many do you have? 54 plus 10, then subtract 1." Using her fingers, she started counting, "Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven..." up to 64. Then she stopped. I prompted her, "Now subtract 1." "From what?" Sigh. This is going to be a long day! (And this is why we use math blocks and rods and cubes and such now.)
Today, while working on math at the dining room table, Child B was standing up. We've been working on proper posture while writing, but one of the nice things about homeschooling is that education doesn't have to take place in any particular place or method. So, I asked her the obvious, "You'd rather stand than sit?" Her reply was a straight-faced, totally serious, not looking up from her work, "I'd rather be a peacock!"
It's these moments that I am so thankful to not miss. Now if I can just find some things to keep Child C out of trouble while I spend so much time with Child B. Does anyone have a 4-year-old-size cage I could borrow?
Disclaimer: I would not really put my child in a cage. I have to say this because someone, somewhere will take it seriously and I'm not serious. I'm joking. Get it? And if you're a parent, you're right there with me. Of course, this doesn't have anything to do with the time that Child C said that her sisters locked her in the bunny's cage. I have no idea when that was, but it just might be true. It's a large cage. Bigger than a 4-year old might need. And it's in the family room. So, you see, I didn't even need to ask for a cage because I already have one. I was just being funny and making light of the fact that she has been quite a handful lately. A really (mostly) sweet, cute handful.
For instance, one particular day, Child B was having repeated anxiety attacks. I'm not kidding; she has them. It's heart-breaking and frustrating to help a 7-year old through anxiety attacks. She had 4 this particular day. One involved her portable CD player and headphones. She was so focused on it that she just couldn't focus on anything else, but she and I worked together to get her work done so she could have a break. During her break we worked on some of her therapy activities involving gross motor skills. I was hoping it would pull her out of her anxiety. Then she really wanted some computer time, but there was laundry to be folded. Her sisters were ready to help fold, so we got started. After I pulled the laundry basket off the couch and we all sat on the floor, I noticed something on the arm of the couch. It was her CD player. If she had gone off to use the computer or play outside, she would not have found her CD player. Always learning. This lesson was about when we do what we are supposed to, things usually go well for us.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right.
Honor your father and mother,
which is the first commandment with a promise
that things will go well for you
and you will enjoy your life on earth.
Ephesians 6:1-3
Some days learning comes easier than others. Child A struggled with learning to read and didn't actually enjoy reading until 4th grade. She also didn't like to write because her hand would get tired. Child B taught herself to write and pretty well taught herself to read - twice. That's a story for another time. But this year, 2nd-grade math is a real challenge for her. It's the borrowing and carrying thing that is hard (ahem, I know, re-grouping, for all the classroom teachers. But you knew what I was talking about.) And some of the math facts - like 9s. She'll be trekking right along and have 7 or 8 math problems right and then all of a sudden, every answer is 10. Not really, but that's what she writes. So I erase them,
So, this is how that went. "You have 54 cookies (she likes to use cookies as an example) and I give you 9 more. How many do you have? 54 plus 10, then subtract 1." Using her fingers, she started counting, "Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven..." up to 64. Then she stopped. I prompted her, "Now subtract 1." "From what?" Sigh. This is going to be a long day! (And this is why we use math blocks and rods and cubes and such now.)
Today, while working on math at the dining room table, Child B was standing up. We've been working on proper posture while writing, but one of the nice things about homeschooling is that education doesn't have to take place in any particular place or method. So, I asked her the obvious, "You'd rather stand than sit?" Her reply was a straight-faced, totally serious, not looking up from her work, "I'd rather be a peacock!"
It's these moments that I am so thankful to not miss. Now if I can just find some things to keep Child C out of trouble while I spend so much time with Child B. Does anyone have a 4-year-old-size cage I could borrow?
Disclaimer: I would not really put my child in a cage. I have to say this because someone, somewhere will take it seriously and I'm not serious. I'm joking. Get it? And if you're a parent, you're right there with me. Of course, this doesn't have anything to do with the time that Child C said that her sisters locked her in the bunny's cage. I have no idea when that was, but it just might be true. It's a large cage. Bigger than a 4-year old might need. And it's in the family room. So, you see, I didn't even need to ask for a cage because I already have one. I was just being funny and making light of the fact that she has been quite a handful lately. A really (mostly) sweet, cute handful.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Walmart Chronicles part 1
A little over a year ago, I gave a high-level summary about something that happened at Walmart about a year before that. It was on my other blog, which is rarely updated, and it really didn't do the story justice. So here is the unabridged version.
I was taking my 3 children to Walmart for various groceries and prescriptions. They were A-7, B-5, and C-2. I know, what was I thinking??? While, Children A & B were holding on to the cart with one hand, like they were supposed to, Child C was having a freak-out attack that 2-year olds are known to have. She was sitting in the child seat in the cart screaming that she was falling backwards. (She wasn't falling backwards!) This was relatively new and had been going on for a couple weeks for no apparent reason. Although it may make sense to you, it really did not make sense to me at the time. At some point she was moved from the child seat to the big basket. (Yes, I know that's not recommended, but I am an attentive mom and she was sitting and I always had my hands on the cart. thankyouverymuch.)
When we arrived at the pharmacy, there a line and and we waited behind 2 or 3 people. My kids asked me a hundred and four questions about products designed to prevent pregnancy that were right there next to us. The line gradually progressed forward and we found ourselves next in line. After paying for my prescription, Child C stood up in the basket, and I, being the attentive mom, turned my back on Child B (I should know better!) for about 20 seconds to sit Child C back down. I turned back around to Child B who was holding something out to me. She said, "Mom, help, I can't get these back on." They were black pieces of plastic and I had no idea what those things were, so I asked her. She said they were "here," and showed me the cash register on the counter.
She took apart part of the cash register! In about 20 seconds, while I had my back turned, she just did something and the pieces came off in her hand! The cashier had already moved on from me to the next person in line and had gone to retrieve their prescription. No one saw how B did it. When the cashier returned, I handed her the pieces and told her she'd probably need them and I was sorry I didn't know how to put them back on. She asked what they were and I showed her they were part of the cash register. Her face lost color. She set them aside and tried to ring up the customer, but the cash register wouldn't work without those pieces.
The cashier called someone else to help put the pieces back together. He fumbled with it a little, seemed half amused and half annoyed when he turned to her and asked her, "How did you do this?", to which she replied, "I didn't do it!." Have you ever wanted to just disappear? Yep, me too. I quickly turned the cart around and we walked very quickly right out of there!
A year and a half later, I had another amusing moment at Walmart. To be continued...
I was taking my 3 children to Walmart for various groceries and prescriptions. They were A-7, B-5, and C-2. I know, what was I thinking??? While, Children A & B were holding on to the cart with one hand, like they were supposed to, Child C was having a freak-out attack that 2-year olds are known to have. She was sitting in the child seat in the cart screaming that she was falling backwards. (She wasn't falling backwards!) This was relatively new and had been going on for a couple weeks for no apparent reason. Although it may make sense to you, it really did not make sense to me at the time. At some point she was moved from the child seat to the big basket. (Yes, I know that's not recommended, but I am an attentive mom and she was sitting and I always had my hands on the cart. thankyouverymuch.)
When we arrived at the pharmacy, there a line and and we waited behind 2 or 3 people. My kids asked me a hundred and four questions about products designed to prevent pregnancy that were right there next to us. The line gradually progressed forward and we found ourselves next in line. After paying for my prescription, Child C stood up in the basket, and I, being the attentive mom, turned my back on Child B (I should know better!) for about 20 seconds to sit Child C back down. I turned back around to Child B who was holding something out to me. She said, "Mom, help, I can't get these back on." They were black pieces of plastic and I had no idea what those things were, so I asked her. She said they were "here," and showed me the cash register on the counter.
She took apart part of the cash register! In about 20 seconds, while I had my back turned, she just did something and the pieces came off in her hand! The cashier had already moved on from me to the next person in line and had gone to retrieve their prescription. No one saw how B did it. When the cashier returned, I handed her the pieces and told her she'd probably need them and I was sorry I didn't know how to put them back on. She asked what they were and I showed her they were part of the cash register. Her face lost color. She set them aside and tried to ring up the customer, but the cash register wouldn't work without those pieces.
The cashier called someone else to help put the pieces back together. He fumbled with it a little, seemed half amused and half annoyed when he turned to her and asked her, "How did you do this?", to which she replied, "I didn't do it!." Have you ever wanted to just disappear? Yep, me too. I quickly turned the cart around and we walked very quickly right out of there!
A year and a half later, I had another amusing moment at Walmart. To be continued...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Who's your momma?
Back when Child C was only a year or two, (now 4-1/2), Child B convinced her that she was C's mommy. Yep, C would call her mommy, curl up on her lap, walk holding her hand, and when I would ask C if she was playing she would sweetly say, "yes." Then I would ask her who was her real mommy? She would sweetly reply that B was her real mommy.
Child B and I talked about how important it is for a child to know who their mom and dad are, not only by appearance, but by name. We talked about how it's OK to play and pretend, but that she shouldn't confuse C and be sure that C knows they are playing and that I am their real mommy.
Now and then they will still pretend that B is mommy. But it's pretend and C understands that.
Today, as we were walking through the grocery store, the kids kept calling me Grandma. You read that right. I wasn't sure I heard it right the first time. So I asked what they were talking about. B addressed me with "Grandma". So I asked why they were calling me Grandma. B firmly explained to me that she is C's mom which makes me the Grandma (B is 7!) and C was in total agreement. I really hadn't planned on becoming a grandma this way. I certainly was getting some strange looks in the store as they continued to call me Grandma.
Sometimes I wonder if they really realize it's pretend or if they believe it.
Oh, and this morning we were talking about the distinguishing characteristics of mammals and that we are mammals. We talked about how God made people different than animals, but people are mammals. It was so cute when C asked if we have mammal seeds. Uh, yeah, sort of.
Child B and I talked about how important it is for a child to know who their mom and dad are, not only by appearance, but by name. We talked about how it's OK to play and pretend, but that she shouldn't confuse C and be sure that C knows they are playing and that I am their real mommy.
Now and then they will still pretend that B is mommy. But it's pretend and C understands that.
Today, as we were walking through the grocery store, the kids kept calling me Grandma. You read that right. I wasn't sure I heard it right the first time. So I asked what they were talking about. B addressed me with "Grandma". So I asked why they were calling me Grandma. B firmly explained to me that she is C's mom which makes me the Grandma (B is 7!) and C was in total agreement. I really hadn't planned on becoming a grandma this way. I certainly was getting some strange looks in the store as they continued to call me Grandma.
Sometimes I wonder if they really realize it's pretend or if they believe it.
Oh, and this morning we were talking about the distinguishing characteristics of mammals and that we are mammals. We talked about how God made people different than animals, but people are mammals. It was so cute when C asked if we have mammal seeds. Uh, yeah, sort of.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Taking kids to the dentist - Part 2
Alternately titled: Why I blog and Recognizing when you need a little help - Part 2
This is part 2. If you missed Part 1, read this first.
OK, so after my call to the pediatrician, I was equipped with some names and phone numbers. Nothing should be this difficult for a child, and if it is, then it is the parent's responsibility to help the child. That's my opinion, anyway.
We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out His love to fill our hearts. Romans 5:3-5
I called one number and the doctor had just resigned with no notice and no forwarding information. I consider that a blessing. I called the other number and explained the anxiety around the dentist appointment and asked how would I know from who to get help and what kind of help to seek. They told me they would take care of that after an evaluation.**
Many pages of paperwork later and a few hours of interviews brought us to a behavior modification therapist, an occupational therapist, and a speech therapist. Although my children have all spoken very early and have vast vocabularies, B tends to run her words together and skips over certain letters when speaking. (It turns out, after 5 months of speech therapy, she is quite capable of speaking clearly and just a bit lazy. I don't consider it a waste of time or money and appreciated the honesty and suggestions of activities to further improve her annunciation.)
The focus of occupational therapy has been to help B adjust her sensory nervous system. Using various activities, her nervous system learns to recognize where her body is in proximity to others'. We also provide tactile input and pressure on her body so she doesn't seek that out inappropriately, and we teach her activities to calm herself down or motivate herself, and to follow directions gradually moving from specific steps one at a time to anticipating what the next step should be. These are not just done in the therapy sessions, but also incorporated into her life at home. If you have questions about this, please leave them in the comments and I will happy to share what we have learned.
The focus of behavioral modification therapy has been to teach calming techniques such as deep breathing, holding breath, tensing, or writing in order to calm down when anxious or angry. The point is to learn how to self-calm and then articulate emotions. This is easily learned by many children, but not those prone to anxiety or with sensory processing disorder.
In the midst of these therapies, the next dental cleaning approached. I anticipated this being stressful for B, yet didn't know whether to tell her about the appointment or surprise her with it. B has always been pretty well in-tune to things that help her feel comfortable, so I asked her, "You remember the last time we went to the dentist, right? You know that one of these days you will have your teeth cleaned again, right? When would you like to know about it? A couple days before, the day before, that morning, or when we get there?" She said she didn't want to know and she didn't want to go. So I didn't tell her. The day came and I sneaked around, gathering the loveys, body brush, massager, and activity books. We were about half way there when her eyes turned into saucers and she exclaimed, "No, not the dentist!" I actually thought she would try to leap from the van as I was driving, but she didn't.
Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. Philippians 4:6
We arrived at the dentist and used her brush and massager. She didn't want to be there, but didn't resist like the previous appointment. I had to carry her back to the cleaning room and they still gave her gas to calm her down and take the edge off. It worked. We made it.
Six months later brings us to a little over a month ago. B has made considerable progress using her breathing techniques, expressing herself verbally, and participating in the activities that help her. Would you believe that things like carrying laundry from one end of the house to the other and scrubbing the kitchen floor are therapeutic for her? Did I mention, helpful to me? Yeah!
So, last month I asked her the same question about when she'd want to know about her dentist appointment. She told me she'd like to know the day before. I wasn't sure that was a good idea, but decided to accommodate her. She didn't like it and asked if she had to go, could we reschedule. I assured her we weren't rescheduling and she would be fine. I reminded her of her techniques and prayed with her. I reminded her that God says, "Who of you by worrying, can add even a single hour to their life? If you can't even do that, then why worry about the rest?" I also reminded her that God takes care of the birds who aren't created in His image, but she is. Of course He will take care of her.
The day of the appointment we used the body brush before we left the house. The massager was in the bag and she carried her own loveys. All the way up there she repeated that she wasn't going in. I just told her it was OK. When the van stopped in the parking lot, she was the first one out. She walked in by herself and didn't panic in the waiting room. She walked back to the cleaning room all by herself and they didn't have to put her in a private room. She didn't need the gas. Amazing. And a real blessing. Thank you, Lord!
She has made so much progress in the last year.
Through blogging her story and bits of our lives, I hope to:
It can be hard to ask for help, but sometimes it's the best thing to do.
** B's official diagnosis is inconclusive, although she has been diagnosed both developmentally delayed and high-functioning autism, at different times - not that she is both, but either/or. It's hard to know which it is and it's not really relevant because the therapies she receives are helpful for either one. The sensory process disorder is definitely a component either way. It's very challenging for me, but it must be even more so for her.
This is part 2. If you missed Part 1, read this first.
OK, so after my call to the pediatrician, I was equipped with some names and phone numbers. Nothing should be this difficult for a child, and if it is, then it is the parent's responsibility to help the child. That's my opinion, anyway.
We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out His love to fill our hearts. Romans 5:3-5
I called one number and the doctor had just resigned with no notice and no forwarding information. I consider that a blessing. I called the other number and explained the anxiety around the dentist appointment and asked how would I know from who to get help and what kind of help to seek. They told me they would take care of that after an evaluation.**
Many pages of paperwork later and a few hours of interviews brought us to a behavior modification therapist, an occupational therapist, and a speech therapist. Although my children have all spoken very early and have vast vocabularies, B tends to run her words together and skips over certain letters when speaking. (It turns out, after 5 months of speech therapy, she is quite capable of speaking clearly and just a bit lazy. I don't consider it a waste of time or money and appreciated the honesty and suggestions of activities to further improve her annunciation.)
The focus of occupational therapy has been to help B adjust her sensory nervous system. Using various activities, her nervous system learns to recognize where her body is in proximity to others'. We also provide tactile input and pressure on her body so she doesn't seek that out inappropriately, and we teach her activities to calm herself down or motivate herself, and to follow directions gradually moving from specific steps one at a time to anticipating what the next step should be. These are not just done in the therapy sessions, but also incorporated into her life at home. If you have questions about this, please leave them in the comments and I will happy to share what we have learned.
The focus of behavioral modification therapy has been to teach calming techniques such as deep breathing, holding breath, tensing, or writing in order to calm down when anxious or angry. The point is to learn how to self-calm and then articulate emotions. This is easily learned by many children, but not those prone to anxiety or with sensory processing disorder.
In the midst of these therapies, the next dental cleaning approached. I anticipated this being stressful for B, yet didn't know whether to tell her about the appointment or surprise her with it. B has always been pretty well in-tune to things that help her feel comfortable, so I asked her, "You remember the last time we went to the dentist, right? You know that one of these days you will have your teeth cleaned again, right? When would you like to know about it? A couple days before, the day before, that morning, or when we get there?" She said she didn't want to know and she didn't want to go. So I didn't tell her. The day came and I sneaked around, gathering the loveys, body brush, massager, and activity books. We were about half way there when her eyes turned into saucers and she exclaimed, "No, not the dentist!" I actually thought she would try to leap from the van as I was driving, but she didn't.
Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. Philippians 4:6
We arrived at the dentist and used her brush and massager. She didn't want to be there, but didn't resist like the previous appointment. I had to carry her back to the cleaning room and they still gave her gas to calm her down and take the edge off. It worked. We made it.
Six months later brings us to a little over a month ago. B has made considerable progress using her breathing techniques, expressing herself verbally, and participating in the activities that help her. Would you believe that things like carrying laundry from one end of the house to the other and scrubbing the kitchen floor are therapeutic for her? Did I mention, helpful to me? Yeah!
So, last month I asked her the same question about when she'd want to know about her dentist appointment. She told me she'd like to know the day before. I wasn't sure that was a good idea, but decided to accommodate her. She didn't like it and asked if she had to go, could we reschedule. I assured her we weren't rescheduling and she would be fine. I reminded her of her techniques and prayed with her. I reminded her that God says, "Who of you by worrying, can add even a single hour to their life? If you can't even do that, then why worry about the rest?" I also reminded her that God takes care of the birds who aren't created in His image, but she is. Of course He will take care of her.
The day of the appointment we used the body brush before we left the house. The massager was in the bag and she carried her own loveys. All the way up there she repeated that she wasn't going in. I just told her it was OK. When the van stopped in the parking lot, she was the first one out. She walked in by herself and didn't panic in the waiting room. She walked back to the cleaning room all by herself and they didn't have to put her in a private room. She didn't need the gas. Amazing. And a real blessing. Thank you, Lord!
She has made so much progress in the last year.
Through blogging her story and bits of our lives, I hope to:
- help others learn that kids cannot always be expected to behave the same way as their same-age peers,
- help add laughter to those stressful moments, and
- let other moms of kids who have a hard time sometimes know they are not alone and there are ways to help them and ourselves.
It can be hard to ask for help, but sometimes it's the best thing to do.
** B's official diagnosis is inconclusive, although she has been diagnosed both developmentally delayed and high-functioning autism, at different times - not that she is both, but either/or. It's hard to know which it is and it's not really relevant because the therapies she receives are helpful for either one. The sensory process disorder is definitely a component either way. It's very challenging for me, but it must be even more so for her.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Taking kids to the dentist
Alternately titled: Why I blog and Recognizing when you need a little help - Part 1
I've been blogging here for a little over a year now. It started out slowly and I'm trying to blog more regularly. It's good for me and hopefully, as time goes, by, it will be good for others. Do you know why I blog?
A little over a year ago, my kids had a dental cleaning. These are things I take seriously. I'm not the best housekeeper, but I take health and hygiene very seriously. I don't know why I put such an emphasis on preventative health, but I do. But I'm not the kind of mom who runs to the doctor for any little thing. Things I don't know about, like this, yes. A low-grade fever, no. Mine have all had weak enamel and many cavities, so I think it's important to have their teeth professionally cleaned and examined. So, they had their dental cleaning and it. was. awful. Not just for me taking them, but for my middle daughter, Child B. Here's how it went:
The day before the appointment, Child A looked at the calendar. Child B had her clothes ready to get dressed. Child C was being her cheerful little self. Child A made an announcement that they all had a dentist appointment the next day. What came next took me totally by surprise. My normally sensitive yet active Child B shut down. She couldn't bring herself to get dressed. She rolled on the floor, wringing her hands, worrying about the appointment the next day. She asked if we could reschedule it. She asked if she could not go. She wondered, aloud, how she was ever going to get through it. She didn't get dressed at all that day and I don't think she ate.
The day of the appointment I was also watching the neighbor's little boy. All the kids piled into the van, loveys in arms as they always do for dentist appointments, and off we went. Half an hour to our pediatric dentist who we searched long and hard for 4 years ago after Child A's traumatic appointments with another one closer. Child B worried the whole way there. She told me she wasn't going in. A and I had an arrangement that when we got there, she would take C and the neighbor in while I helped B. B walked in just fine, but hid as soon as we walked in the lobby. After I signed the kids in, I asked if anyone needed to go to the bathroom, have a snack or a drink... Before I knew it, B had walked up to the reception desk, signed herself out and was out the door. Yes, out. the. door. Just the other side of the parking lot is a very busy set of railroad tracks. I chased after her to stop her before she reached them. I'm sure she didn't even know where she was going. Halfway across the parking lot, I wrestled her to the ground and held her tightly. She was so panicked. We made it back in the office and I had to hold on to her.
(Now, let me back up here for just a minute. B has always had a sensory disorder that causes her to not feel things the same way most of us do. For example, she seeks deep pressure on her muscles and loves to be squeezed. She can spin all day long and not get dizzy. Yes, she could pass a field sobriety test and walk a straight line after being spun to the point where most people would get vomit. In fact, I found out that 9 times in a row on the Tilt-a-whirl is my threshold, but B kept going until two more chaperons thoughts they, too, would be sick. Mosquito bites don't make her itch, but she will climb to great heights in attempt to escape her own body. So, knowing this about her, we have tools to help her. We have been using the Wilbarger Protocol Brushing Technique off and on since she was 3. It helps calm her. Now she asks for it when she's overwhelmed or over-stimulated.)
At this point, I was holding her in the lobby and got out her brush. She calmed a little bit, so I pulled out her hand-held massager that she will hold on top of her head for stimulation. We talked about how she can hold that to counteract the vibrations from the dental cleaning. It was soon time to bring her back to the cleaning room, so I went with her. A stayed with her sister and the neighbor. Once in the room, B was very uneasy so I was holding her tightly. It occurred to me, that maybe if I read to her she would calm down, so I reached for a book on the counter. Wrong. She bolted. I loosened my grip and she was gone. I chased after her, reaching her as she reached the door to the lobby. I carried her while she reached for anything that might be solid. She grabbed at mirror on the wall and it crashed down. When I got her back to the room, I was crying, she was wrestling to get away, and I sat on her to keep her there. She wiggled so much that her hair got spun around the cleaning tool. I had to keep sitting on her until she was untangled or she would have taken off with it and whatever it was connected to. The dentist decided to use nitrous oxide (with my eager permission at this point) to finish the cleaning.
When she was done, she was fine. Instant calm. The other kids did fine. I was a wreck.
I called my husband from the lobby and cried. I called the pediatrician and cried.. Why would she behave like this? What could be happening? He gave me some names and numbers to call. I cried all the way home.
I realized then that whatever road we were headed down with her, I felt very alone. I was frustrated and angry. I was tired of the judgemental looks from others who had kids who could easily be around large groups of people and not wander off or need to be in a quieter place. And then I realized that there are other moms just like me with kids just like her who feel the same way. Other parents laugh at the things their kids say and do. Other parents take it in stride. God never intended for us to do this alone. I reached out and grasped my Father who made my child in His image, and He did not make a mistake when He made her different!
It was in that moment that I accepted my daughter for who she is, realized some of her limitations, and chose to find out what to do to help her. If going to the dentist caused her that much anxiety and inability to function, then we need to find ways to teach her to get through those moments or don't put her in that situation until she can handle it. I also decided to switch to this blog, from our homeschool blog where I eluded to the dentist appointment (along with the more humorous event of her taking apart the cash register at Wal-mart), but it was too recent to think about without crying again. If there are other parents like me, with children like B, then we need not be alone. First and foremost, God will never leave us nor forsake us. Second, He is perfect and does not make mistakes; therefore, B is made within His divine plan. Third, I will blog about those crazy, stressful moments that bring me to tears and, hopefully, there will be tears of laughter, too.
That day changed our life. Really, it did. To be continued...
Come back Thursday to read about what B has accomplished in the past year, the progress she has made, and how we've made it through the next two cleanings since the one mentioned here.
I've been blogging here for a little over a year now. It started out slowly and I'm trying to blog more regularly. It's good for me and hopefully, as time goes, by, it will be good for others. Do you know why I blog?
A little over a year ago, my kids had a dental cleaning. These are things I take seriously. I'm not the best housekeeper, but I take health and hygiene very seriously. I don't know why I put such an emphasis on preventative health, but I do. But I'm not the kind of mom who runs to the doctor for any little thing. Things I don't know about, like this, yes. A low-grade fever, no. Mine have all had weak enamel and many cavities, so I think it's important to have their teeth professionally cleaned and examined. So, they had their dental cleaning and it. was. awful. Not just for me taking them, but for my middle daughter, Child B. Here's how it went:
The day before the appointment, Child A looked at the calendar. Child B had her clothes ready to get dressed. Child C was being her cheerful little self. Child A made an announcement that they all had a dentist appointment the next day. What came next took me totally by surprise. My normally sensitive yet active Child B shut down. She couldn't bring herself to get dressed. She rolled on the floor, wringing her hands, worrying about the appointment the next day. She asked if we could reschedule it. She asked if she could not go. She wondered, aloud, how she was ever going to get through it. She didn't get dressed at all that day and I don't think she ate.
The day of the appointment I was also watching the neighbor's little boy. All the kids piled into the van, loveys in arms as they always do for dentist appointments, and off we went. Half an hour to our pediatric dentist who we searched long and hard for 4 years ago after Child A's traumatic appointments with another one closer. Child B worried the whole way there. She told me she wasn't going in. A and I had an arrangement that when we got there, she would take C and the neighbor in while I helped B. B walked in just fine, but hid as soon as we walked in the lobby. After I signed the kids in, I asked if anyone needed to go to the bathroom, have a snack or a drink... Before I knew it, B had walked up to the reception desk, signed herself out and was out the door. Yes, out. the. door. Just the other side of the parking lot is a very busy set of railroad tracks. I chased after her to stop her before she reached them. I'm sure she didn't even know where she was going. Halfway across the parking lot, I wrestled her to the ground and held her tightly. She was so panicked. We made it back in the office and I had to hold on to her.
(Now, let me back up here for just a minute. B has always had a sensory disorder that causes her to not feel things the same way most of us do. For example, she seeks deep pressure on her muscles and loves to be squeezed. She can spin all day long and not get dizzy. Yes, she could pass a field sobriety test and walk a straight line after being spun to the point where most people would get vomit. In fact, I found out that 9 times in a row on the Tilt-a-whirl is my threshold, but B kept going until two more chaperons thoughts they, too, would be sick. Mosquito bites don't make her itch, but she will climb to great heights in attempt to escape her own body. So, knowing this about her, we have tools to help her. We have been using the Wilbarger Protocol Brushing Technique off and on since she was 3. It helps calm her. Now she asks for it when she's overwhelmed or over-stimulated.)
At this point, I was holding her in the lobby and got out her brush. She calmed a little bit, so I pulled out her hand-held massager that she will hold on top of her head for stimulation. We talked about how she can hold that to counteract the vibrations from the dental cleaning. It was soon time to bring her back to the cleaning room, so I went with her. A stayed with her sister and the neighbor. Once in the room, B was very uneasy so I was holding her tightly. It occurred to me, that maybe if I read to her she would calm down, so I reached for a book on the counter. Wrong. She bolted. I loosened my grip and she was gone. I chased after her, reaching her as she reached the door to the lobby. I carried her while she reached for anything that might be solid. She grabbed at mirror on the wall and it crashed down. When I got her back to the room, I was crying, she was wrestling to get away, and I sat on her to keep her there. She wiggled so much that her hair got spun around the cleaning tool. I had to keep sitting on her until she was untangled or she would have taken off with it and whatever it was connected to. The dentist decided to use nitrous oxide (with my eager permission at this point) to finish the cleaning.
When she was done, she was fine. Instant calm. The other kids did fine. I was a wreck.
I called my husband from the lobby and cried. I called the pediatrician and cried.. Why would she behave like this? What could be happening? He gave me some names and numbers to call. I cried all the way home.
I realized then that whatever road we were headed down with her, I felt very alone. I was frustrated and angry. I was tired of the judgemental looks from others who had kids who could easily be around large groups of people and not wander off or need to be in a quieter place. And then I realized that there are other moms just like me with kids just like her who feel the same way. Other parents laugh at the things their kids say and do. Other parents take it in stride. God never intended for us to do this alone. I reached out and grasped my Father who made my child in His image, and He did not make a mistake when He made her different!
It was in that moment that I accepted my daughter for who she is, realized some of her limitations, and chose to find out what to do to help her. If going to the dentist caused her that much anxiety and inability to function, then we need to find ways to teach her to get through those moments or don't put her in that situation until she can handle it. I also decided to switch to this blog, from our homeschool blog where I eluded to the dentist appointment (along with the more humorous event of her taking apart the cash register at Wal-mart), but it was too recent to think about without crying again. If there are other parents like me, with children like B, then we need not be alone. First and foremost, God will never leave us nor forsake us. Second, He is perfect and does not make mistakes; therefore, B is made within His divine plan. Third, I will blog about those crazy, stressful moments that bring me to tears and, hopefully, there will be tears of laughter, too.
That day changed our life. Really, it did. To be continued...
Come back Thursday to read about what B has accomplished in the past year, the progress she has made, and how we've made it through the next two cleanings since the one mentioned here.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Progress
Since the end of October 2008 I've been able to brush B's hair without too much trouble. She will even brush it now. Well, sometimes. She's 7. So, for five and a half years it was a daily battle. Sometimes twice a day. Her whole world would come to an end when it was time to brush her hair. She screamed in pain. Terrible pain. Just running fingers through her hair would cause red marks - like claws - down her neck to her back. This was a real, physiological response. No kidding. If you were to pinch just the ends of her hair in your fingers and ask if she felt it, she would say it hurt - and she wouldn't still be standing there just letting you pinch her hair!. It. hurt. a. lot. Can you imagine? Can you imagine being in that much pain every day?
But one evening in late October of 2008, she brought me her brush and asked me to brush her hair. I asked if she really meant it and she said yes. OK. So I did. I was very careful and tried to be gentle, as I always did. She held completely still and didn't pull away. She didn't scream. She didn't cry. But I did. By the time I was done, the tears were streaming down my face. After 5.5 years of daily pain, my little girl was not in physical pain from this. I praised God and quickly sent out a praise report on our church's prayer chain. God blessed us by relieving my little girl from this burden. Oh, she still has others - but this was one less. Yes, it was a big deal!
This is a girl who, when wearing any sort of hair accessory, will become easily agitated. So we don't put things in her hair unless she has to have her hair pulled back (like in gymnastics, when it's a low, low ponytail). She doesn't like it and it's a personal preference, one that I don't feel the need to push my desires onto her if it causes her that much discomfort. So imagine my amazement when she recently asked me to put her hair up in a "high pony."
After putting it up, I asked her to please take it out or come to me if it bothers her. Sometimes she just lets the physical discomfort fester until she can't take it any more. So we talked through it. She wore it for HOURS.
I was so proud of her. She has come a long way. It hasn't been easy living with sensory processing disorder, but she is learning to cope with it, as are the rest of us.
But one evening in late October of 2008, she brought me her brush and asked me to brush her hair. I asked if she really meant it and she said yes. OK. So I did. I was very careful and tried to be gentle, as I always did. She held completely still and didn't pull away. She didn't scream. She didn't cry. But I did. By the time I was done, the tears were streaming down my face. After 5.5 years of daily pain, my little girl was not in physical pain from this. I praised God and quickly sent out a praise report on our church's prayer chain. God blessed us by relieving my little girl from this burden. Oh, she still has others - but this was one less. Yes, it was a big deal!
This is a girl who, when wearing any sort of hair accessory, will become easily agitated. So we don't put things in her hair unless she has to have her hair pulled back (like in gymnastics, when it's a low, low ponytail). She doesn't like it and it's a personal preference, one that I don't feel the need to push my desires onto her if it causes her that much discomfort. So imagine my amazement when she recently asked me to put her hair up in a "high pony."
After putting it up, I asked her to please take it out or come to me if it bothers her. Sometimes she just lets the physical discomfort fester until she can't take it any more. So we talked through it. She wore it for HOURS.
I was so proud of her. She has come a long way. It hasn't been easy living with sensory processing disorder, but she is learning to cope with it, as are the rest of us.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sister love
B has issues. Issues with sensitivity - emotionally and physically. She's coming along nicely in learning how to express herself in a healthy manner and today I was reminded that we just aren't there yet.
After A's softball practice, the kids were all playing on the playground. A accidentally stepped on B's hand. with. cleats. ouch. B was mad. Probably hurt, too. But mostly mad. Instantly hearing her screams, I came running across the park from the ball field and intervened. In a situation like this, the only thing that will calm B is usually holding her in a bear hug until she settles down. That's not an easy task. She fights hard. So I held her as she's yelling at her sister, "Come closer so I can hit you!" I tried to talk her through some of the techniques she is learning for exactly this purpose. Yeah, she wasn't having any of it today. She did manage one strong swing at her sister, right in the chest. The fit didn't end so it was time to go.
After gathering equipment and sisters, I was headed to the van. B was still throwing a fit and refused to come along. Sometimes this backfires on me, but I still try it, so I said "OK, I hope you're still here next week when we come back for practice again." As we kept walking, C brought her hands up to her face and sadly said, "I will miss her so much!" Isn't that sweet?
(I did explain to C that B would follow along; I wouldn't really leave her there. And for those who may be wondering about the hitting and the fit, yes there were consequences. We just don't discuss those sorts of things here. There are too many methods of parenting and discipline for everyone to approve of everyone else's methods. We discipline in a Godly and loving manner. The point being that it was addressed and does not need to be discussed in a public forum.)
After A's softball practice, the kids were all playing on the playground. A accidentally stepped on B's hand. with. cleats. ouch. B was mad. Probably hurt, too. But mostly mad. Instantly hearing her screams, I came running across the park from the ball field and intervened. In a situation like this, the only thing that will calm B is usually holding her in a bear hug until she settles down. That's not an easy task. She fights hard. So I held her as she's yelling at her sister, "Come closer so I can hit you!" I tried to talk her through some of the techniques she is learning for exactly this purpose. Yeah, she wasn't having any of it today. She did manage one strong swing at her sister, right in the chest. The fit didn't end so it was time to go.
After gathering equipment and sisters, I was headed to the van. B was still throwing a fit and refused to come along. Sometimes this backfires on me, but I still try it, so I said "OK, I hope you're still here next week when we come back for practice again." As we kept walking, C brought her hands up to her face and sadly said, "I will miss her so much!" Isn't that sweet?
(I did explain to C that B would follow along; I wouldn't really leave her there. And for those who may be wondering about the hitting and the fit, yes there were consequences. We just don't discuss those sorts of things here. There are too many methods of parenting and discipline for everyone to approve of everyone else's methods. We discipline in a Godly and loving manner. The point being that it was addressed and does not need to be discussed in a public forum.)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Do you like casserole?
We had a very adventurous day today that started with visiting our old church congregation. It was hard to decide to find a new congregation closer to home a couple years ago and we love going back to visit with our "family", even though it doesn't happen very often. Today was their Purim celebration, which involved a comedic reenactment of the book of Esther, followed by a kids' carnival - fun games and prizes and an indoor moon jump. It was great.
Then we went shopping for a dryer, because ours caught on fire 2 weeks ago. Our budget was limited, very limited. But we had some cash in hand and knew our limit. There is this one particular place that I had heard about. Free delivery (to where we live). Prices negotiable. The low-end dryer we were considering was $19 cheaper here than Menard's. OK, that's where we're headed. After walking into the store, Child A excitedly remarked, "There's a mall inside this store!" It was huge. And who knew that in the back of the store, on Saturdays, they bake fresh chocolate chip cookies and provide milk or coffee? Yes, I am talking about Abt Electronics. We were there for hours. Hours. Not shopping for a dryer. Just looking around. Trying things out. Having cookies. (OK, we just had one when we got there and one before we left. But we still ate cookies.) They have a beautiful fountain and a water show that the kids loved. Computers for the kids to try out (with supervision) and a bubble booth (where the kids stand and pull a ring up around them so they are inside a bubble!) It was fun, but it was exhausting. We were there a long time, and yes, we did order the dryer. The kids tried to be good.
So one the way home, having used every bit of goodness they had and feeling exhausted them selves, each of the kids were a wee bit whiny. Someone asked what was for dinner. Oh man! I still have to feed them? With sarcasm being my preferred method of humor, I very calmly and seriously said, "Toe-nail casserole", to which Child B quickly replied, "Eewwww! Casserole!"
Then we went shopping for a dryer, because ours caught on fire 2 weeks ago. Our budget was limited, very limited. But we had some cash in hand and knew our limit. There is this one particular place that I had heard about. Free delivery (to where we live). Prices negotiable. The low-end dryer we were considering was $19 cheaper here than Menard's. OK, that's where we're headed. After walking into the store, Child A excitedly remarked, "There's a mall inside this store!" It was huge. And who knew that in the back of the store, on Saturdays, they bake fresh chocolate chip cookies and provide milk or coffee? Yes, I am talking about Abt Electronics. We were there for hours. Hours. Not shopping for a dryer. Just looking around. Trying things out. Having cookies. (OK, we just had one when we got there and one before we left. But we still ate cookies.) They have a beautiful fountain and a water show that the kids loved. Computers for the kids to try out (with supervision) and a bubble booth (where the kids stand and pull a ring up around them so they are inside a bubble!) It was fun, but it was exhausting. We were there a long time, and yes, we did order the dryer. The kids tried to be good.
So one the way home, having used every bit of goodness they had and feeling exhausted them selves, each of the kids were a wee bit whiny. Someone asked what was for dinner. Oh man! I still have to feed them? With sarcasm being my preferred method of humor, I very calmly and seriously said, "Toe-nail casserole", to which Child B quickly replied, "Eewwww! Casserole!"
Monday, February 15, 2010
Not Me Monday: mayo, stitches, and lost child
It's been a FULL week and I'm not very excited to share it. It was more eventful than I like, but here goes.
A little over a week ago, we spent a couple nights in a hotel in Peoria, Illinois. It was a great trip and we saw over 80 bald eagles near the Illinois River (the whole purpose of the trip), but the chlorine in the hotel's pool bleached our swimming suites, burned the kids eyes and skin, and turned their beautiful blonde hair into sticks! It took 3 full bottles of hotel shampoo to get their hair to feel like I could condition it and then 5 bottles of hotel conditioner to be able to brush it (I was glopping it on as I was brushing!) I have left a message at the front desk and over the phone for the manager and have yet to hear back... The rest of the hotel stay was great, though!
So, upon returning home, trying to brush my daughters' hair was again a challenge, as it still was not yet back to normal. As I was spraying olive oil onto Child B, I called my hairdresser to find out her opinion. She suggested mayonnaise. Yep. The sandwich kind. One of my daughters cannot stand mayo. Not. one. bit. So, of course, I did not put it in her hair. Nope. Not me. I didn't put her in the shower and wash her hair well, brush it and slather the mayo on real thick before wrapping it in a towel for 3 hours. I wouldn't do that to her, especially not with her gagging while I was doing it. Then when her older sister was in the shower and taunting her, I didn't ask if I could have a piec eof bread and tomatoes because she smelled SO good! Further, I wouldn't tell her that it was all a joke and she was going to be the only one to have to do this. Nope, I wouldn't tease my own daughter like that. (I did then go on to tell that I was teasing and yes her sister would also really have to have mayo in her hair!)
Child B, not very happy about having mayo in her hair:
I did not continue to make mayonnaise jokes all day long.
Later that night, when hubby came home from, he didn't say that dinner smelled delicious and ask if there was mayonnaise in it, giving his middle daughter a teasing look.
Tuesday was Child B's birthday - the BIG 7! We went to Bible Study in the morning, as usual for Tuesdays. My group was appropriately interrupted because Child C fell and busted her chin open again (just a little above where she did it on April Fools Day last year.) I had awful flashbacks of her very painful and scary experience getting stitches. But we left quickly and dropped A and B off with a neighbor and I headed to the local urgent care with C. Having forgotten to take pictures last time, I did not keep telling myself over and over again, "Take a picture when we get there. Take a picture when we get there."
Before (it held closed nicely!):
This one wasn't as bad as last time and closed together nicely, so they were able to glue it. Yeah! (Check back in a day or two for how this was a clear answer to prayer!!!)
After (with glue):
Today, we did not go to our homeschool group's Valentine's Bowling Party. 
Not the day after Valentine's Day. That doesn't make sense. While there, I did not let C slide around on the floor while watching her ball, that she rolled, barely make it down the lane.
Not the day after Valentine's Day. That doesn't make sense. While there, I did not let C slide around on the floor while watching her ball, that she rolled, barely make it down the lane.
And even if I would have, I wouldn't have let her sister, B, go to the bathroom unattended. The bathroom is RIGHT by the lane we were bowling on and right next to the party room we were in. So, of course, I would feel the need to go with her, lugging 4 yo C with me. Right? So after 15 minutes of her not emerging from the bathroom, I went looking for her and really, seriously did not find her. Not in the bathroom, not in the hall, not outside, not in the bar (where we had to go get cups earlier), not out the other door, not anywhere. Remember, I had not seen her for 15 minutes! When A told the lady at the register/shoe checkout that her sister was missing, she replied "OK." WHAT?!? So, I asked her specifically to page her, while several parents are looking and a boy was sent into the men's room to look. Still not anywhere. So, I did not resort to my mother's instinct to locate my lost daughter at all cost and call 911. (She has had a tendency to wander off in the past and the bowling alley was not rented out to our group exclusively, so two factors there that I thought justified this phone call.) Just as I was confirming my daughter's description and they were about to dispatch an officer, someone came up and told me B was in the other bathroom. I had no idea there was another bathroom - on the other end of the bowling alley(and the lady who works there didn't ask me if I had checked both bathrooms!) Yeah. Daughter found. Call canceled. (Isn't it great that they confirm, "So you no longer need an officer to respond to this call?") Next time I know to scope out all the bathrooms! And maybe really not let her go unattended. Or at least make sure she is in the one RIGHT next to us.
If you want to read about what other's aren't doing, head on over to MckMama's for Not Me Monday! (Most of them are funnier than this one. But it was cathartic to get it out!)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Eyes in the back of my head
Six-year old B said to me, recently, "Mom, those eyes in the back of your head are really starting to freak me out. Everytime I go in a room and do something I'm not supposed to do, you always know about it!"
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Deep thoughts from me and the kids
My grandma passed away today, nearly two weeks after experiencing a stroke in her brain stem. What seemed relatively minor when she arrived at the hospital progressed rather rapidly to her not having use of any of her body other than her head, less her ability to speak. Eventually, she couldn't move her head anymore and in the last couple days she mostly slept. Her temperature crept up to 105 from apparently aspirating while she was vomiting after the stroke. Pneumonia is common in this situation, but I don't think it was expected to be a direct result of the stroke, as much as being stuck in a mostly-reclined position. While in hospice-care, there is no treatment for infection. So, at the age of 84, my grandma passed away.
Zdzislawa
7/16/1925-10/28/2009
(Last name not published here because it is a public blog. Although followers are few, I have no idea how many readers there are. An occasional hopper does visit, as I frequent many other blogs.)
I won't use this platform right now to preach the gospel or share, in depth, our faith in God and the Bible as truth, but let's just say that we believe it to the core. My children believe and believe they do! It's amazing how profound their faith is, even at the ages of 9 and 6. (My 3 year old has some very neat things to say and questions to ask, but she didn't chime in at all on this. She does, however, have an amazing understanding of the life cycle.)
After my dad called to tell me that grandma had passed away, about 10 minutes went by when A (9) came to me with a huge smile on her face and said with pure joy, "Mom, I bet she's amazed right now at what she sees!" Then she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. If you're a believer, you know what she's talking about! I had a brief opportunity to talk to my grandma and pray for her (in her presence) the day after her stroke. A couple days later, there was so much more I wanted to say to her, but she was asleep. I heard God tell me that I said what I should and it was His turn now. He then told me, "Be still. And know that I am God." I know that she was embraced in His arms during her hospital stay and that she is with Him now
I thank you, God, my Father, for meeting each of us right where we are and knowing exactly how to speak to each one of us (even if we don't always listen.)
Later in the day, a neighbor child came to see if the kids could play. I heard A telling her about grandma and figured it was good for her to have friends to talk to about it and help her further process the events of the day. Now, you might have to really know my kids (B)- or any kid on the autism spectrum - to have an appreciation for bluntness. I have no idea if the neighbor girl didn't completely understand what was being said, or why she would ask the question she did, but this is the conversation I heard:
Child A (9): Yeah, so my great-grandma died today. This morning.
Friend: So, where did she go?
Child B (6): Hea-ven! She died. Get it?
{end of conversation}
So, after this emotionally draining day, I was at a loss of energy or ideas for dinner. We decided to go to Ci-Ci's pizza. Because we can feed a family of 5 there for $20. It was that or Taco Bell, the only other place we can keep it at $20 or less. On our way home, we took a route that took us on an off-ramp that goes up to an overpass. B (6) looks out her window and sees that the only thing between her side of the van and the road under the overpass is a little wall. Suddenly, she says very matter-of-fact, "Dad, be careful. The only thing between us and certain death is a tiny wall that isn't that thick. I'm pretty sure it's not that thick!"
She's absolutely right. That wall isn't that thick. The wall between our life here and our eternal life - whether it be a life in heaven or hell. And the wall between heaven and hell - eternal life or eternal death.
Do you know where you will spend eternity?
Zdzislawa
7/16/1925-10/28/2009
(Last name not published here because it is a public blog. Although followers are few, I have no idea how many readers there are. An occasional hopper does visit, as I frequent many other blogs.)
I won't use this platform right now to preach the gospel or share, in depth, our faith in God and the Bible as truth, but let's just say that we believe it to the core. My children believe and believe they do! It's amazing how profound their faith is, even at the ages of 9 and 6. (My 3 year old has some very neat things to say and questions to ask, but she didn't chime in at all on this. She does, however, have an amazing understanding of the life cycle.)
After my dad called to tell me that grandma had passed away, about 10 minutes went by when A (9) came to me with a huge smile on her face and said with pure joy, "Mom, I bet she's amazed right now at what she sees!" Then she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. If you're a believer, you know what she's talking about! I had a brief opportunity to talk to my grandma and pray for her (in her presence) the day after her stroke. A couple days later, there was so much more I wanted to say to her, but she was asleep. I heard God tell me that I said what I should and it was His turn now. He then told me, "Be still. And know that I am God." I know that she was embraced in His arms during her hospital stay and that she is with Him now
I thank you, God, my Father, for meeting each of us right where we are and knowing exactly how to speak to each one of us (even if we don't always listen.)
Later in the day, a neighbor child came to see if the kids could play. I heard A telling her about grandma and figured it was good for her to have friends to talk to about it and help her further process the events of the day. Now, you might have to really know my kids (B)- or any kid on the autism spectrum - to have an appreciation for bluntness. I have no idea if the neighbor girl didn't completely understand what was being said, or why she would ask the question she did, but this is the conversation I heard:
Child A (9): Yeah, so my great-grandma died today. This morning.
Friend: So, where did she go?
Child B (6): Hea-ven! She died. Get it?
{end of conversation}
So, after this emotionally draining day, I was at a loss of energy or ideas for dinner. We decided to go to Ci-Ci's pizza. Because we can feed a family of 5 there for $20. It was that or Taco Bell, the only other place we can keep it at $20 or less. On our way home, we took a route that took us on an off-ramp that goes up to an overpass. B (6) looks out her window and sees that the only thing between her side of the van and the road under the overpass is a little wall. Suddenly, she says very matter-of-fact, "Dad, be careful. The only thing between us and certain death is a tiny wall that isn't that thick. I'm pretty sure it's not that thick!"
She's absolutely right. That wall isn't that thick. The wall between our life here and our eternal life - whether it be a life in heaven or hell. And the wall between heaven and hell - eternal life or eternal death.
Do you know where you will spend eternity?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Conflicted
On our way home tonight from a wonderful day at the local county fair, the children were sharing the most delicious bag of kettle corn ever. Well, the ones who were still awake, that is.
Child B speaks up from the back of the van, "Mom, I have a problem. I have a conflict I've never had before. My tummy is full, but my mouth really likes to eat this!"
I love her honesty (when she's honest!) I also love that she realizes this conflict. And that she knows the word "conflict" at age 6!
Child B speaks up from the back of the van, "Mom, I have a problem. I have a conflict I've never had before. My tummy is full, but my mouth really likes to eat this!"
I love her honesty (when she's honest!) I also love that she realizes this conflict. And that she knows the word "conflict" at age 6!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Comments from Child B
Two comments to record...
Thursday, July 2
We were in the van on our way to my in-law's. They live about 5 hours away, or 6 when traveling with children aged between 3 and 9. That's better than the 9 hour drive to the same destination when A was a baby (because nursing babies really do eat all the time!)
On this trip yesterday, we stopped for a potty break. Panera seemed like a clean place to stop and they have been using many billboards for advertising. Much cleaner than a gas station and less likely to result in an impulse buy than McDonalds. We still gave in to the impulse and bought bagels for the kids.
As we're pulling out, each one is gnawing on a bagel and the color is messed up on the 2nd screen of the dvd player. We are getting ready to pull out into traffic when this is a big deal. No adult can easily reach the dvd player and no one but the kids can see it. Hubby reaches around his driver's seat to make the adjustment, asking after each push of the adjustment button "There, how's that?" No response. Louder and another push: "There, how's that?" No response. B tends to zone and often times we cannot get her attention to answer a question anyway. So, now, even LOUDER: "How is that???" Nothing, as we pull out into traffic. OK, now we have to pull over to do this the right way. Hubby gets out, opens the side door, gets in and the. color. is. fine. With complete frustration, he asks "It's fine. Why didn't you say anything???"
B: I'm not supposed to talk with my mouth full.
That's right; she was eating that bagel!
Wednesday, July 1
On Wednesday, B was having a non-surgical out-patient procedure at our local hospital. She would be "asleep" for it with general anesthesia. We didn't give her many details of the procedure, but told her she would have to be still for a long time, so the doctor would give her some medicine to help her take a nap so she wouldn't move. After a couple questions about how the medicine would get in her, she seemed to be OK with it. This is good because B worries. When we got in the van, another conversation took place:
B: Mom, what if something happens? What if it doesn't go well? What if it goes wrong?
ME: What do you mean?
B: Mom, what if they kill me?
Sigh. I guess she had been thinking a lot about it and worrying anyway. Hubby and I spent some minutes re-assuring her that the doctors are very good at what they do and God is with her through the whole thing - even when she's asleep. Of course, the same very thought is at the back of every parent's mind when their child is undergoing general anesthesia.
Thursday, July 2
We were in the van on our way to my in-law's. They live about 5 hours away, or 6 when traveling with children aged between 3 and 9. That's better than the 9 hour drive to the same destination when A was a baby (because nursing babies really do eat all the time!)
On this trip yesterday, we stopped for a potty break. Panera seemed like a clean place to stop and they have been using many billboards for advertising. Much cleaner than a gas station and less likely to result in an impulse buy than McDonalds. We still gave in to the impulse and bought bagels for the kids.
As we're pulling out, each one is gnawing on a bagel and the color is messed up on the 2nd screen of the dvd player. We are getting ready to pull out into traffic when this is a big deal. No adult can easily reach the dvd player and no one but the kids can see it. Hubby reaches around his driver's seat to make the adjustment, asking after each push of the adjustment button "There, how's that?" No response. Louder and another push: "There, how's that?" No response. B tends to zone and often times we cannot get her attention to answer a question anyway. So, now, even LOUDER: "How is that???" Nothing, as we pull out into traffic. OK, now we have to pull over to do this the right way. Hubby gets out, opens the side door, gets in and the. color. is. fine. With complete frustration, he asks "It's fine. Why didn't you say anything???"
B: I'm not supposed to talk with my mouth full.
That's right; she was eating that bagel!
Wednesday, July 1
On Wednesday, B was having a non-surgical out-patient procedure at our local hospital. She would be "asleep" for it with general anesthesia. We didn't give her many details of the procedure, but told her she would have to be still for a long time, so the doctor would give her some medicine to help her take a nap so she wouldn't move. After a couple questions about how the medicine would get in her, she seemed to be OK with it. This is good because B worries. When we got in the van, another conversation took place:
B: Mom, what if something happens? What if it doesn't go well? What if it goes wrong?
ME: What do you mean?
B: Mom, what if they kill me?
Sigh. I guess she had been thinking a lot about it and worrying anyway. Hubby and I spent some minutes re-assuring her that the doctors are very good at what they do and God is with her through the whole thing - even when she's asleep. Of course, the same very thought is at the back of every parent's mind when their child is undergoing general anesthesia.
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