Homeschooling as a lifestyle, not just a method of education

I was surprised today when a friend came over and she thought we should have a "school room" for our home school. She was surprised that I cook and bake with my kids in the kitchen with me and that they learn while participating.

This time of year, many homeschool bloggers are writing about what they plan for the upcoming academic year and how they have arranged their various "schooling areas". Many have been brave enough to share pictures. I have to admit, I love looking at those pictures. It's comforting to see the bins and bins of what is used every day and the bookcases and bookcases of books.

To a non-homeschooling family, it looks like stuff. Maybe even clutter. They might wonder, "Do you really use all that? Why does it have to be in your dining room?" OK, yes, I do have clutter that isn't part of our homeschooling, but that's not what this is about. This is about the shelves and shelves of books and games. Did I say games? Of course. Didn't you know that kids learn best when they are hands-on and having fun? Did you enjoy learning all those dates in history? How many do you still remember? What about the states, capitals, and abbreviations? So many adults get the abbreviations mixed up for AriZona, AlasKa, ARkansas, and ALabama. You might even ask why you need to know those abbreviations. If your child ever has a temp, job, order entry job, customer service job, or even appontment setting for a major cable company, this is important to know. Can you imagine how uneducated they will sound when they pull up an account and confirm that you live in Little Rock, Arizona, because they think AR is Arizona? Or better yet, they don't know what it stands for, so they just say the abbreviation? Yes, it happens all the time. Do you have any idea what a mess many companies' databases are because kids don't remember these when they grow up? (I do. I've cleaned up a number of them in my database days.) My point it, the more materials that are used to reinforce the information and the more fun it is, the easier it is for kids to learn. The more books that are available, the more likely a child is to pull a book off the shelf and read. So, yes, we use all of that.

We use every room in our house. {Gasp} I know. Not a single room goes unused in our 3-bedroom, 1 bath, no-basement house (with 1 bedroom converted into a family room, where we watch tv and sometimes play video games.) Our homeschool takes place in our home and outside our home. We sit around the fireplace in the living room in the winter while reading the Bible and history. We sit at the dining room table to discuss language and math and work on writing. Science experiments are conducted at the dining room table, kitchen counter, or outside. The kids sometimes sit at the 3-child desk my totally awesome husband built for them (in a weekend when I was in a back-to-school panic), especially when doing anything on the computer (and sometimes they are distracted by a bird or squirrel out the window - and I like that. That distraction gives us opportunity to pull out a book about birds in our area and read about what they eat, why they live here, how they nest... This is something that if I just pulled the book off the shelf and read it to them, they may not be interested. At this moment they were distracted by it, so it applies to an immediate interest. See how this works for us?) I won't forget to mention that I use the couch in the living room or futon in the family room while helping Child C work on reading, but we've also done this in the kitchen. Really.

This video is from December. I am NOT wearing a sweater in August! :-)

Actually, the kitchen is my favorite place for "school." How many times in school did you ask yourself or someone else, "When will I ever use this?" Reading a recipe is real-life application math and science. I can't even guess how many times I've hidden the 1-cup measuring cup and told my kids to use to 1/4 or 1/3 cup. Two-thirds of my daughters knew basic fractions before they were kindergarten age. (I should get moving because my third is that age and apparently I've been slacking!) We love to double or triple a recipe and work out those calculations in our heads! It's a game with my girls and they consider it fun. Converting ounces to cups to pints to quarts is so much more fun when using them rather than just memorizing them. This isn't the only math education they receive, but it reinforces what they are learning on paper. Why not understand why baking powder is necessary in a recipe and what it does - or doesn't do when left out? Why not learn to read from M-I-L-K and B-A-K-I-N-G S-O-D-A? Some of Child A's first words that she read were F-R-O-Z-E-N F-O-O-D-S at the grocery store. Each one of my kids is learning to cook and bake along with math, reading, and science. Learning a life skill, coupled with their education.

I'm not just shoving information into their little heads and expecting them to remember it - I'm walking them through life. One doesn't have to homeschool to do this. It's a lifestyle. I remember when Child A was very little and everyone I came across said the same thing - kids are sponges at that age. Guess what? If information is presented in a fun or interesting manner, kids of all ages are sponges. They don't outgrow that.

So whether kids are educated outside the home or inside the home, they are still always learning. What they are learning is not always valuable or useful, but they are always learning. I like that my kids learn in every room of the house and that they enjoy participating in life with me. It's a great experience and it's preparing them for life in their own homes one day.

Growing Up

If you read my February post Light at the End of the Tunnel, you may remember that 5-year old, child C, has started going through some difficulties with her sensory system. She avoids certain types of clothes and completely melts down if she has to wear them, to the point where I just don't think it's necessary to make her wear those clothes at this time.

I mean, really, have you tried to take a child to the store just so she could flail about in the middle of an aisle trying to rip her clothes off her skin? Have you tried to carry such a child, naked, out of the store? Yeah, I'm not going to either! However , in order to help her adjust gradually, we have a reward system in place to help her get used to these sensations slowly and for short periods of time. For example, if she wears a certain piece of clothing for 10 minutes then she earns a sticker, or a penny, or a few minutes with a favorite activity. This is how she adjusted to wearing winter boots. Uhm, that's also when she gave up underwear... but I digress.

She is now back to wearing underwear and skorts and tights. We also had a mini-milestone when one day she wore this:

Did I say "mini"?
Okay, that was huge.

She wore the tank top, jacket, and jeans for about 30 minutes before ditching them. However, she wore them and, yes, she did get rewarded. She has tried the jeans on a couple times on her own since then and promptly taken them back off. The jacket has become part of her regular wardrobe. Yay!

This (below) is what you would probably see her wearing on any given day, including Sunday. If not this, then replace the leotard with an Ariel one-piece swimsuit. Yes, even on Sundays. I know, but really, would we even make it to church if she pulled the grocery store scenario?

But, did you notice something about my baby girl? Uh, besides that she wrote all over herself with, apparently, non-washable marker ...



She is growing up, you know. It's funny how certain things are exciting when your oldest goes through them and then we grieve a little when our youngest goes through them. Okay, look closely so you don't miss it.

*sniffle*

Someone make sure the Tooth Fairy doesn't get distracted tonight!

Wordless Wednesday

(For the story behind this picture, you will have to visit Growing Up.)

The light at the end of the tunnel

"There is a light at the end of the tunnel." It's a note of encouragement when things are dark and difficult that things will get better - the light. Looking at the glass as half full, instead of half empty. Being positive. Looking at the bright side. Right?

There is a saying in the autism community. Perhaps you've heard it applied to other situations. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... and it's a train. Yes, I've said it. I've believed it. I've let it get me down and then I feel like I have no hope, not as a mom and not for my daughter. Then one day, God spoke to me and reminded me that He doesn't make mistakes. He knew before He made her that there would be challenges for her. That there would be challenges for us, her parents. But aren't there challenges anyway? Parenting is not easy. In fact, it is probably the hardest thing I have ever done - even without autism and sensory disorders in the mix.

Children have minds of their own. Their own opinions and preferences. Their own pet peeves. Their own attitudes. We try to form them into the people we would like them to become, but they still choose whether to be the way we encourage and influence them to be or whether to explore the foreign territory of temptation. Children learn more by example, mimicry, if you will, than by what we tell them. That's probably what makes parenting so difficult.

I got off track... Let's go back to the light at the end of the tunnel. Child B has always been a little different. In short doses, you likely wouldn't even notice. But we did. Not just in comparison to A, either. Her gross motor skills were beyond belief at a very young age. When most babies were just learning to roll over, B was climbing. She couldn't crawl yet, but she could pull herself up and climb at 5 months. I took A to the bathroom and left my 5-month old baby on a bare floor in a room with a child-size table where A left her lunch of beef-a-roni. What did I find when I came back? B was standing up, holding onto the table, and eating beef-a-roni with one hand! Yes, she was 5-months old. At 10 months, she was learning to walk, which isn't unusual for a 10-month old, but to find her standing on the sit-and-spin, spinning herself and giggling, was a bit unusual. Even more so was pulling her off the arm of the rocking chair, where she was standing and holding onto the back of the chair with one hand, and moving back and forth to make the chair rock, squealing, "Whee!" I knew she would be a handful.

It took some time to put the pieces together that she sought stimulation by swinging, spinning, balancing, etc. She would put things on her head that were heavy in order to feel the pressure. But light touch would send her through the roof. She couldn't be comforted when injured. Not through nursing, swaddling, cuddling, even from birth. She wouldn't have any part of it if she was upset or hurt. She still has a hard time with comfort - 8 years later. And some things just didn't affect her much - like when her elbow was dislocated in a spinning/swinging incident when she was 2. She simply held her wrist and whimpered a few times before falling asleep rather quickly. (I knew something wasn't right and she had it fixed within an hour.) And she avoided groups of peers during play dates, often retreating to a quiet place where she could play alone, but then later she would ask why no one was playing with her.

Now some may ask how early she received any vaccinations, and I will assure you that she was demonstrating enough "quirkiness" early enough that vaccination played no role in the challenges that B has. She did, however, have a completely natural malpositioned birth. She had significant bruising and some muscle rigidity. Did that play a role? Only God knows. And He was OK with it. He has a plan for her and has provided excellent therapeutic services to help her learn how to deal with what is difficult for her and how to interact better with others. What she has not needed any help with, and God has blessed her with, is her ability to tell it like it is. She is very literal and brings great joy to our lives with her questions and quick observations. She notices everything.

When she first became aware of communion, her eyes looked like they would pop out of her head. As the basket of bread and little cups of juice passed, she asked, almost horrified, "Is that really Jesus' skin and blood?" Later that day I explained to her how they represent exactly what she suspected and she had tears in her eyes. I remember thinking that even at the young age she was, "She gets it." She has an amazing knack for understanding things way beyond her years and asking when she doesn't. Silly books like Amelia Bedelia have helped her understand figures of speech and when something isn't literal. In fact, she uses the word "literally" quite frequently in order to let others know when she really means what she's saying.

So, what does this have to do with the light at the end of the tunnel? Well, B has made tremendous progress. We just celebrated her 8th birthday this past week. A couple years ago, when she was 6, she seemed more like a 4-year old in maturity. Now I have to remind myself that she just turned 8, she is not 9! We have stepped into the light.

Oh, but did I mention that in the past couple weeks, my just-turned-5-year old can't stand the way underwear feels? To the point where she won't wear it. She throws herself on the floor screaming, trying to rip it off. She hasn't worn pants in 2 or 3 years because she doesn't like them. She used to wear skorts, until the underwear thing started. She can't stand those now either. She might wear a skirt when we leave the house, if I put it on her and carry her out while she kicks and screams... and I make her wear something under it! She has developed what seems like a cough to an observer. However, it is chronic - every couple seconds, clearing her throat or exhaling deeply, like a sigh, every few seconds. In other words... constantly. What is going on? It's all sensory. While B was mostly a sensory seeker, it seems that C is mostly sensory-avoidant, which is a little more challenging. Think about it... if you know you need something, you seek it out and the need is met. On the other hand, if something bothers you, you will avoid it, even if it the very thing you need in order to get better. She avoids those sensations that she needs to be exposed to in order to get used to it. If you cannot relate to this, just take my word for it - it's hard, it's exhausting, and it's frustrating.

This is where I could say that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train. Yes, I have thought to myself, probably even said out loud, "Great. Another one. I thought this was behind us." I will be honest and say that I don't look forward to taking this road with another daughter because it is so hard - for her and for me. However, the light is real. And God walked with us through it the first time. He is walking with us this time. He never left us. In fact, He knew before we did that 2 of our children would have sensory disorders. I am so thankful it's only a sensory disorder and not something worse - not something that would take her from me yet or that would require expensive medicine or extensive time in the hospital. So thankful that there are known therapies to help her. And I look forward to the day that I rejoice when she shows improvements. We've had glimpses of those days when her struggles are less. I so clearly remember the tears of joy that I cried when B asked me to brush her hair for the first time. She was almost 5 years old and brushing her hair had been torture to her every day of her life to that point. I know that God will get us through this with C, just as He did with B.

And I believe that God does not make mistakes. I trust in Him that He will use these challenges in our lives to glorify Him.

A birthday blog post

Wednesday was my baby's birthday. She's 5 now. She'll always be my baby, though. I wanted the day to be all about her. We worked up to it slowly...

She wanted a multi-colored cake. This is her cake from last year:

I just didn't have it in me to bake so many thin cakes this year (I think it was only 2 boxes split into 3 cakes each and wasn't hard, just time consuming.) So this year, I used Dawn's tutorial for candy clay flowers. It was so easy and all the kids made some. They had a great time making them in 3 different sizes. Here is the big one that Child A made:
So all 3 girls made a dual-colored cake, with green frosting, flowers, and snails. Yes, snails. I don't know why and I didn't question it, m'kay?

She loved the cake. It was a great day with lots of singing and excitement between the sisters.

She asked for a real dinosaur that would eat her sisters and then would spit them out when she wanted it to. She didn't get one. She was quite happy with her gifts anyway. She has been wanting something her sisters have and we found one used that was a reasonable price, so that was her gift. It was a very exciting moment when she opened the box and the excitement carried through the rest of the day!

Grandpa made a quick stop by to say Happy Birthday and the day was complete.

There were some sad elements of the day that I'll save for another blog entry so as not to steal the joy from C's birthday. It was a great day for her and our family enjoyed it and that's what was important for her birthday!

I still can't believe my baby is five!!!

Random

I haven't been organized enough lately to put together a blog post about anything specific. So, I will share some random tidbits with you. You're welcome.

This evening, Children A and B were having a discussion in the van. I was sort of tuning them out and wasn't paying any attention, but A's comment brought me a laugh, "No, I think the dance you are thinking of is called The Mango."

This week we are celebrating my baby's birthday. She'll be 5. Over the weekend she shared that she wants a real dinosaur for her birthday; one that will eat her sisters and then spit them out again when she wants it to. Today she reminded me, "Remember, Mom? You're getting me a dinosaur. Remember?"

I can't believe she will be 5. She has 2 loose teeth already. She's Child C and she is stubborn and funny and loving and stubborn. She won't wear clothes most of the time. Well, not "real" clothes. It's been 20 degrees lately and she wears a swimming suit with footless tights or a leotard with footless tights, or a tank top, short skirt, and footless tights. And open-toed shoes. She lost those shoes at church last week. We looked all over for them and couldn't find them anywhere. She had to leave barefoot. Hubby carried her. We found them this weekend.

Did I mention she cut her hair in December? All the way around. She followed the natural hair line, so at least it wasn't super short. But it's shorter than it was.



See the dresser behind her? There are 2 of them right next to each other. Yeah, she pulled both over just a couple days after I read about a fellow blogger whose son died when a dresser fell on top of him. It freaked me out. Child C is getting more supervision now days. (Warning: That link shares the details of what happened to Dana's son. When I say my daughter needs more supervision, I am not at all saying that Dana wasn't providing adequate supervision. Just that my daughter cutting her hair and then pulling the dressers over indicate to me that she needs more supervision. What happened in Dana's house could have happened in any one of our houses and is just a tragedy.)

Child B has been out of occupational therapy now for 7 months and is doing well. She still has bad sensory days now and then, but she was able to tolerate a dental cleaning and cavity filling without her sensory tools. (I still brushed her in the waiting room, but I had left a few other tools at home by mistake.) She handled it very calmly and did not panic, which is HUGE. I am so proud of her with all the progress she has made! She decided she would like to play softball like Child A, so we will have a full schedule this spring.

That's it for now. I'm sure I'll have more random later.

WFMW - Laundry schedule for families with children

An IRL friend of mine posted on Facebook that her son has worn the same pair of underwear for several days because he was out of clean underwear. Hey, if you have kids, you know what she's talking about. My kids have run out of clean underwear before I've gotten to their laundry, Heck, my husband has run out of clean socks or underwear before I've gotten to it. I've even gone on laundry strike because there is always so much to do and never enough time to do it all. To top it off, I know a family whose husband called her while she was out shopping and he asked her to pick up some new underwear because it would be faster than waiting for the laundry to be done.

When you add kids into the mix, it seems like laundry multiplies exponentially. Especially when you have girls or kids with sensory disorders who change clothes 20 times a day or simply because you are busy and just not home to do it. Hey, don't get me started on laundry doing itself - all you have to do is throw it in and move onto something else until it needs to go in the dryer. Throw it in and leave the house - let it run. In case you missed it, back in February my dryer motor caught on fire. If I hadn't been home, our house would have been destroyed. I don't run the dryer when I'm not home anymore.

So, I came up with a plan and tried it out. My girls have to wash their clothes on Tuesdays and Fridays. It's just long enough in between for them to accumulate enough to not be overwhelming (1-2 loads). They share a room and a hamper, so they have to work together, but I helped with suggesting who does what. Child B takes the clothes to the laundry room and puts them in the wash. (I'll share why in just a minute.) Child A or B takes them out of the washer (top-loader) and hands them to Child C so she can throw them in the dryer, which she loves. Then they all sort, fold, and put away their own clothes. They are nearly-5, nearly-8, and 10-1/2 - all very capable of the task assigned to them.

Then I get the washer and dryer on all other days to do anything else that needs to be done. If we are out all day on a Tuesday or Friday, there are enough other days to be flexible to give the girls the next day. I don't always keep up with getting the rest of everything folded or put away, but it's much better than having piles of laundry in some state of completion for all 5 of us.

This works for me in more than one way, it gets the laundry done, but it also helps incorporate therapy into Child B's routine. She has graduated from occupation therapy for sensory processing disorder. This is a good thing, but it doesn't mean her sensory disorder is gone. Simply put, we incorporate many therapeutic activities to meet her sensory needs into her daily life so she doesn't rely on formal therapy. Using her physical strength and as many muscle groups as possible is calming for her. It's hard, but calming in various ways. Some kids may have hyper-activity, anxiety, aggression, etc., so a physical activity is calming for their nervous system by using that energy productively. Pulling, pushing, or carrying the laundry basket to the utility room helps B. She can choose which one best suits her mood. It seems like a small task, but the benefits are great for her ability to get through the day without feeling agitated. After all, how would you feel if you felt like the tag from your shirt was rubbing all over your body? That's just an example of how these kids feel, though not exactly and not for all of them.

With this system there is no arguing over who is going to do what or who did it last time and whose turn it is.

Our laundry routine works for me. To read other tips, suggestions, find easy recipes, hop on over to We Are That Family and check out Works For Me Wednesday.