Monday, August 2, 2010

An unsolicited letter to creepy guy at the pool

Dear 55-year old man at the pool (I know your age because you told me),

This afternoon you arrived with your little girls and helped them recover their footing after going down the water slide. It was very attentive of you and I'm sure they appreciated your presence. However, when you started helping other girls recover their footing, I wondered why the lifeguard didn't tell you that you weren't actually allowed to be there. I only saw you assist one girl who did not arrive with you and I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I had no idea that I would have reason to approach you later.

When my daughter came to ask me if we could buy french fries, I was a curious as to why my girls were sitting at a table with you. I assumed that maybe they had introduced themselves to your girls or maybe you had introduced your girls to them in order to help them find playmates at the pool. However, your girls were not sitting with you. My girls quickly changed tables to one I chose when I brought the fries over.

A short while later, I heard that you offered candy to two of my children and a family friend while the oldest was away from the concession area. I also heard that the two younger ones accepted and you told them "don't tell your mom." When I confronted you about it, you admitted the situation and your wrong doing, including an apology. I told you that the situation raises red flags all over the place. What I didn't ask you about and it gives me a strong level of unease, is that my girls later told me that they were sitting at the table when you alone approached them and asked if you could sit with them. They thought that was weird and they are right. I won't even get into how many more flags became red with this information.

Rather than go into all the different emotions and questions I have at this time, I will simply thank you. Today I had opportunity to learn how my children react in what might be a potentially dangerous situation with strangers. I thought they had it drilled into them to not accept anything from strangers. I thought they knew to come get me if an adult they don't know is too close to them or talks to them. You helped me learn that we need to do more to prepare our kids with what to do. At this very moment, my kids are once again watching The Safe Side, and I have emphasized over and over that you were in their "safe side circle" and you are a "don't know."

From now on, when I see you at the pool, I will be watching you. I will be watching every move you make and will not hesitate to get pool management involved and I will not hesitate to call the police.

A loving and caring mom with good instincts.


  1. Holy cow - that IS creepy. Good for you for confronting that weirdo, and I'm glad you had the opportunity to make this a lesson instead of something bad happening.

  2. wowza! yes, totally creepy and uncalled for. so glad you confronted him. what in the world could he have been thinking?!?!?

    glad everyone is safe! :)

  3. Yes, glad everyone is safe. I think I would have told him on the spot if he ever talked to my children again that I would call the police!

    do you mind if I link your post on my facebook? Could I copy and paste it to something to remind us to check up on our kids and what we think we've already taught them. I'll definitely do some of my own "testing".

  4. Icky. I wish the police would set up some sort of program where they approach our kids (with out permission) as plain clothes officers to see how they react. We should really set up some sort of way to do it with friends.

  5. :( sorry you had this experience. I think you are right to be concerned because of there being so many different red flags. sometimes I tell my husband he's being a creepy old guy when he talks to little kids just a bit too long. but if he ever asks to join someone else's kids he didn't know at a table, even I'd be worried!!!!
    Sounds like you're turning a bad situation into a good learning one though!!!!
    Hope you don't run into him again!
    ps spotted you in the comments on Dawn's (Because I said so) blog and your comment caught my eye because you said you're relatively close and I'm also semi close to her and always looking to "meet" other local(ish) bloggers!!

    I blog at

  6. Blech! That is seriously scary! Sorry that you had to be in this situation, but glad that it happened under your watchful eye.

  7. Yuck. I hate that we have to be so suspicious, especially of men that "seem" nice. For all we know, they are misunderstood but that situation would have had my hair raised, too. It's an unfortunate world we live in that we must share it with pervy dudes who would prey on our kids. Thanks for the frank letter. I think we have all wanted to say the same thing at one time or another!

  8. Yikes, that is creepy! I'm sorry that happened to you all. I would be too scared to go back.

  9. Ick! Thanks for the link to The Safe Side - I need to start working on the idea of "stranger danger" with my kids.