Thursday, August 27, 2009
Watch the God's Chisel video by The Skit Guys first, then read. I’ll wait. I have all the time in the world. This post isn’t going anywhere.
This post isn’t about the kids. If you were looking for something funny or cute or crazy, then you will not find that here today. This is totally serious and heartfelt. It’s important to me and I’m hoping that this video (below) will be forwarded to others who struggle with human-junk in their walk with The Lord. It hits home and is very easy to understand, but hard to watch. No, it’s not gory or gross. It’s personal. That’s where it hits you – inside.
After watching this video I didn’t sleep very well. I never sleep well when I need to be praying more. God wakes me up and draws me near in the middle of the night. A time when I would rather do nothing else but sleep. It’s hard. I want to pray for sleep. I want to pray for feeling rested. But that’s not what I pray for. I use this time to pray for everyone but myself. Except after watching this video.
But after watching this video, prayed for myself. I apologized to God for not trusting Him. I like control – over my house, my kids, my life. I realized by watching this video that my most prized possessions are my kids and my husband. But they don’t really belong to me. They are merely on loan. Even though two of my three children have been dedicated in church, I considered that more of hubby and me dedicating our lives to raising our children in a Godly manner and to raise them while seeking God’s direction in our parenting. I also considered those baby dedications to be a commitment from church members to lift us up and support us in raising our children. Not so much, did I consider it giving my children up to God and trusting Him with them. I know God loves each of us more than we are capable of loving each other. I don’t doubt that one bit. But I hadn’t realized that every time I yell at one or all of my children, or ignore them because they are bickering and I am tired of listening, or invoke some method of discipline while I am still angry that I am doing that to God’s daughters. Yes, I gave birth to them, but only by the grace of God. He entrusted me with this job and I feel like have been letting him down (even though I never held Him up in the first place.)
So I prayed that God would guide me clearly through this venture. That He will give me more patience – not put me in situations that require more patience and wait for me to seek Him, but for Him to be gracious and generous with the patience He just bestows upon me so I can be a better mother and be a better influence. My children learn from me every day. I am their teacher, but I am also their mother. They are learning how to be a mom from how I treat them. I asked God to please calm the anger in me and help me teach them more love. If someone else treated my children with anything but love, I’d be very upset. I can only imagine how God must cringe at times with my parenting. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children! We do all kinds of fun things together and have a lot of joy. But I am human and I am a sinner. I have said things that are hurtful, just as any parent has. And it is hard not to when a child says mean things to you. But it’s not right to say something hurtful in return. In fact, God tells us to be content in all circumstances. Is saying something hurtful or pretending not to hear a child tell a story being content? Not really. Not at all. At least I hope I’m not content when I react that way!
I prayed a lot and asked for forgiveness for how I’ve treated God’s daughters that He has loaned me. He so generously, and apparently confidently, trusts me to raise them for Him. Now I need to trust Him to lead me through.
If you didn’t watch the video, please do. Really. And please share it with others. As believers we are not only supposed to lift each other up and worship together, we are also supposed to hold each other accountable. This video really hits the personal stuff. How did it affect you?
This song is a wonderful complement to the video skit: