Creative Solutions (Discipline)

I haven't forgotten to resume my series on Sensory Processing Disorder. The next part up will be on discipline. Of course, as soon as I decide to write about something as challenging as discipline, I start being challenged in that very area. No surprise, right? Bare with me, please. It will come soon.

In the mean time, I'll share how life application works in our house.

Child A's writing assignment was to identify something she doesn't like about herself and what she could do to change it, with the detail on how she could make that change. She's a pretty self-confident young lady, so I expected this to be a bit of a challenge. She's also pretty slick about finding the easy way of completing a task. It was no surprise to me when she said she had nothing at all she'd change; she's happy with who she is.

Fast-forward a couple hours to a quick trip into the grocery store to buy 1 thing that would be a universal staple for dinner this week as we have 1 night of gymnastics and 3 softball games (read: quick, easy dinners that everyone will eat.) Not even far enough into the store to make my selection did a fight break out over the grocery cart. Child A and Child C screaming and striking at each other and me in the middle to separate them brought us right back out of the store without said staple for dinner. Lovely. Kinda puts me in a bind, right? One might think so, but this is a creative momma with creative consequences. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

On the way home, we talked about behavior. How might each child have responded differently to each other in this situation? Who is the older child and how old did she act? At almost 12, did she like her behavior and how this situation turned out? Guess who now has something to write about for her assignment?

As an added bonus, the two "fighters" can work together to come up with something we already have in the house, that everyone will eat, for dinner. If they don't, they will go without dinner and the rest of us will eat leftovers (which is also fine with me because there are still consequences being enforced for the two who interfered with dinner plans.) Creative solution.

As an added bonus, they both have to contribute their allowance to the gas used to go back to that store at a later time without them.

How do you discipline creatively and effectively?

Doing what's familiar

I love being able to witness my kids learn something new: things I would miss if they were in school outside our home, things that many parents probably don't even think about if they miss. Today that was Child C counting backwards from 50. She's been able to count to 50 for a couple years and can easily count to 100 now. It didn't seem to be much of a challenge for her to learn (unlike reading, which has been a huge challenge in which we are finally seeing some measurable progress.) Counting backwards from 10 also wasn't a remarkable moment - it came easily and she didn't have to put much thought into it all.

Today, she asked for a temporary tattoo and I was holding the washcloth on her arm. I decided to get creative (a big moment for me, to be honest) and I counted to 30 and then backwards from 30. While applying the second one, she wanted to count. She went up to 50 and then started counting backwards:
49
48
47
46
47
Me:46, 45
44
43
42
41
40
41
Me: 40, 39
38
37
36
37
38

You see where we are going with this. It was just so familiar for her to go forwards that she kept reverting back to that familiarity. She could have gone through this in a classroom, gotten it, come home, and been counting backwards from 50 without a hitch and I would have missed it. With all the chaos we have in our lives that I could do without, this is one thing that I am so glad not to miss!

Facebook versus Blogger, Round 3: 10/2010-12/2010

11/1/2010 - My kids are cracking me up this evening. Earlier, a limousine passed us and 1 said, "OOh, It could be Miley Cyrus." Another said, "Or Taylor Swift!" Then my 4-year old (C) said, "Or the 3 chipmunks! Alvin & his brothers." Just now, my 10 year old said, "Mom, it no longer hurts when I poke myself with a needle." How should I reply to that?!?

11/4/2012 - This is just the kind of things programmers enjoy doing... and waiting for someone to discover it. :-)
1. Go to Google maps
2. Go to "get directions"
3. Type "Japan" as the start location
4. Type "China" as the end location
5. Go to direction #43

Repeat the same with San Francisco, CA & Honolulu, HI. Notice direction #15.
Repeat same with Honolulu, HI & Japan. Notice direction #7.
At least the developers have a sense of humor!

11/5/2010 - I am exhausted. I wanted to send the kids home after school so I could rest. Their school *is* their home. That didn't work out so well for me today. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and an extra hour of sleep tomorrow night!

11/6/2010 - I like to mess with my kids' dreams. They all talk in their sleep sometimes and sometimes I talk back to see where their dream takes them. Tonight, I was talking to my 4yo (C) after she fell asleep. I said, "Oh you have ice sickles on
your knees!" and her whole body shivered for about 5 seconds. Too funny.

11/8/2010 - I stopped everything in the middle of the day in order to shower my 4-year old (C), thanks to a lotion-in-the-hair incident.

11/10/2010 - Seeing a new momma dog and her puppies and discussing it: The mom is white and the puppies are black and white, what color do you think the dad is? "Purple" says my 7 year old (B).

11/12/2010 - I just told my 10-year old daughter (A), "Your mouth is polluting my ears!" Yes, I just said that.

11/15/2010 - On the way home from gymnastics tonight, my 7-year old (B) says, "I'm going home, putting on my pajamas, having dessert, and sleeping until May!" :)

11/20/2010 - The girls just flew through the house like wild animals. Hubby asked, "All right, who is dressed and ready to go outside?" Just then they ran by again, opened the door, and flew out. I'm pretty sure one was still in a summery nightgown. It's 42 degrees. And no one was wearing shoes.

11/20/2010 - ‎3 girls just came running in screaming. "Eeeeeeeeee. There are 3 spiders in the living room. THREEEEEEE SPIIIIIIIDDEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSSSS!!!!!" {Hahahahahaha}

12/1/2010 - My 4 (C) and 7 (B) year olds are talking about birthdays. 7yo: "Mom, do I have a birthday the same year as Christmas?"

Me: "Yes, you do." 7yo, curiously: "No, I have a birthday every 11 years." 4yo, competitively: "Me, too!!!" I love the simple minds of children!

12/9/2010 - My 3 daughters worked together to make lasagna tonight. It's delicious! I'm a happy momma!

12/10/2010 - Well, it was bound to happen at some point. The third (C) of my daughters cut her hair this afternoon. I'm still crying. :( I don't know how anyone gets any housework at all done while they have children. I'm ready to give up.

12/11/2010 - Hubby just asked the girls to bring him a beer from the 'fridge. They brought him a bottle of soy sauce. According to them, he *almost* took a drink.

12/13/2010 - Child A trying to help Child C with reading: "Let's pretend you're in school and we're learning our 'i-n' words." C: "Pretend I'm not coming either" and she just sits there and doesn't get up to "play."

12/17/2010 - I was stuck in an elevator at a local library this afternoon. Did you know that when there are lots of kids in the library, nobody pays any attention to the emergency alarm in the elevator?

12/23/2010 - My 4-year old (C) is dreaming of something tasty. She is chewing and smiling in her sleep. Must be from all the baking we've been doing this week. I ♥ when my kids have "sweet dreams"!

12/24/2010 - I just showed the girls where Santa is *right now*. They were so excited, but just as eager to get to bed. Have you seen how fast he delivers gifts? I'm right behind them because I don't want to be awake when he gets here either!

12/29/2010 - My local grocery store has coupons printed on the back of their receipts. My 10-year old (A) just found one that expires 3/33/11. I needed a giggle after she damaged my camera during a photography class today. Even better that it was her that made me giggle!

Lazy day with a giggle

Apparently, today is a lazy day. Two of the three girls are still in their pajamas and it's noon. That's just one of the nice things about homeschooling. I mean, how many people who work from home participate in conference calls in their pajamas? A lot. Believe me. I used to work in Corporate America and I've talked to these people.

Not being dressed is not the only indicator that it's a lazy day in my house. My 6th grader asked me, "Mom, what's 9 times 4?" I just looked at her because I know she knows the answer. I guess she thought I didn't hear her because she repeated her question. Hesitantly, I told her it was 27. Her mouth dropped open in shock and she looked like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar as she said, "Mom! It is not! That's 9 times 3." I smiled and told her that if she knows 9 times 3, then she can figure out 9 times 4." (Glimpse into my thoughts: Really. Yesterday you learned binary, but today you don't know your multiplication tables? I don't think so.) She replied back that I was really smart. Wow. I will hold onto this moment (recorded here for historical documentation) because I know there will come a time in the not too distant future when she will stuggle a bit to define herself and she may not recognize her mother's wisdom.

In not being lazy, I need to schedule two dentist appointments because B lost part of a filling and C has a toothache. For the record, it is never a good sign when your daughter brings you chunks of white from her mouth and asks if they are pieces of a filling. Ugh. At least she brought it to me. This is the daughter who suffered from nearly debilitating anxiety a few years ago about the dentist.

My laugh for the day (well, my first, hopefully there will be more) was when C came up to me and asked, "Mom, you know how I have a big head and a tiny little body?" "Uhm, no, I didn't know that. Do you think you do?"

How is your day going?

Five-second rule

Last night we picked up a $5 pizza to eat while watching a DVD series that we've been borrowing from our local library. The kids know that if they drop food in the driveway, the 5-second rule does not apply. We have too many pine trees in our yard, and with one at the edge of the driveway, no food is edible after being dropped onto a pile of pine needles. The problem with those pine needles is that they also get tracked into the house sometimes.

While watching the DVD and eating in the family room, which is also the bunny room, TV room, and computer room, Child C's pizza slid off her plate onto the floor. This was cheap pizza that is pretty solid, not the typical cheesy, greasy pizza that would make a mess, so I didn't feel the need to make her toss it in the trash and there was no mess to clean. Not that it would have mattered because before I could act, she had picked it up, blown it off, and taken a bite. I did quickly take it from her, examine it for bunny fur, and gave it back when it looked fine.

A few minutes later C whispered emphatically, "Mom, there's stuff from outside on my pizza." I whispered back to her, "What? No, there's nothing from outside on your pizza. Shhhh. Watch the show." She looked at me like I was crazy for feeding her this food and she whispered a little louder, "Yes! You know, those needles. I just ate one." Trying not to laugh, I reminded her that she did drop it on the floor and sometimes pine needles get brought in on shoes, especially when children forget to take their shoes off inside. She nodded like she understood, thought about it for a minute, then looked at me as if I had no idea what I was talking about. She very firmly pointed out, "But I blew on it!"

I suppose blowing on food should always make it edible.

A Mysterious Name on the Wall

I'm sure all kids write on the wall at some point or another. I don't remember doing it myself, but I'm sure I did. However, it always surprises me when mine do it. I just expect more from them, for them to obey and learn when I tell them to only write on paper. Maybe it's their creativity and using a different medium than paper.

Anyway, it wasn't long ago when Child C's name appeared on the cabinet under the sink in the kitchen. Black letters, not very large, but still there. How did I know who the culprit was? Her name begins with "S" and a few years ago when Child A was learning cursive, C decided to turn her "S" around backwards so she could link the letters together better; her attempt at cursive even before she had mastered printing. So there it was, her name, starting with a "2", instead of an "S". A dead-giveaway.

I asked her if she used a permanant marker, to which her reply was, "No, I used a Sharpie." Sigh. She had to scrub it off. Here's how good my kids are at scrubbing... I gave her a damp paper towel and told her to scrub until it came off. Now, I know that a damp paper towel won't take the marker off, but I wanted her to have to work for it. After about 5 minutes, she helped herself to the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser in the cabinet. At least she knows what takes off permanant marker!

Just a week ago, I found Child B's name written vertically on the door jamb in the kitchen. I don't know if she was staking her claim or what. This is the same door jamb she used to climb when she was younger. She, too, had to use a damp paper towel to scrub. She, too, asked for the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

I'm sure your children have written on something in your house. Please share your story in the comments.

Facebook versus Blogger, Round 2: 8/2010-10/2010

8/13/2010 -- I was listening to 4-year old, Child C, talk about God being alive in her heart. "He NEVER sleeps, Mom! He's always awake in there - even at night!"

8/22/2010 -- I'm thinking of all of you whose kids are either already back in school or getting ready to go back to school.... nya-nya-nya-nya-nya. We're still enjoying summer!!! (And not sick of them being home!) :)

9/7/2010 -- There is truth in every single message in this video and it communicates them very well. Moms and Moms-to-be, this is for you! (Thanks, Karen, for sharing this on Facebook!)




9/9/2010 -- I love Praise Moves for Children!!! My 4-year old is stretching and exercising while repeating scripture. It keeps her busy while the other 2 work on handwriting, math, and language. One of these days I'm going to have to check out the videos for adults!

9/21/2010 -- I just finished helping my second grader, Child B, fill in a missing verb. I ______ a little boy. She cheerfully fills in "hit", "I hit a little boy." If you know her, then you know that she speaks the truth. She has indeed hit many little boys. {sigh}

9/30/2010 -- I just pulled my oldest baby girl's (10 & 1/4 today) last baby tooth. {sniffle} {wiping away tears}

10/5/2010 -- I was helping my 7-year old daughter, Child B, with math at the dining room table when I realized she was standing up rather than sitting. I asked her the obvious, "You'd rather stand than sit?" She replied, "I'd rather be a peacock!"

10/7/2010 -- I'm sure my kids would fail this experiment, too, but I will show this to them anyway. Too much of what we eat isn't meant to be called "food." Thanks, Chris, for sharing it on Facebook.




10/8/2010 -- My kids have discovered that sticks fit in the pencil sharpener.

10/12/2010 -- Two hours to bake 3 fozen pizzas that should take 15 minutes each. Hmmm. That doesn't seem right. Guess I'll be making a phone call to an oven repairman soon... (I'm really ready to not have any more unexpected expenses for a while - this year has been full of the unexpected.)

10/14/2010 -- During their time in the mine, one of the Chilean miners had sent up a note saying there were 34 down there, not 33, because God was with them. Makes me think of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the furnace of fire. But when King Nebuchadnezzar looked in, he saw 4, not 3, walking around unharmed in the fire. (Daniel 3)

10/22/2010 -- I had a nice conversation today with the kids. In the midst of them grumbling I asked, "What blessings would *you* count right now?" Child B came up with the first: "I'm blessed that I don't live in an orphanage!" She also came up with the second: "I'm also blessed that I don't work in a factory because kids can really get hurt in factories!" (I guess the movie Samantha has really had an impact on her.)

10/25/2010 -- Child A just asked me if Goliath was *really* a giant pickle. She's 10. Can I just say that apparently there is such a thing as TooMuchVeggieTales?!

10/28/2010 -- I went in to check on my girls at 11:30 and 2/3 of them were still awake and goofing around. Must be time to fold some laundry. They finished their load and promptly went to bed for real this time.

Facebook versus Blogger, Round 1: 6/2010-7/2010

I've mentioned that since I joined Facebook, my blog has suffered. Well, I'm recapping my Facebook statuses that pertained, or may be of interest, to my family so that others in my family who are not on Facebook can feel more connected. Many of the statuses actually apply to the blog; it's just easier to type up a one or two line comment and hit enter than to create tiny blog posts. So, if you've seen them on Facebook, you will get to enjoy them once again here. Some of them may have more background information or details than when they were put on Facebook. If you don't care to re-read them, then just skip over any blog post that has the heading "Facebook versus Blogger". :)

This round is from June and July of 2010, so keep in mind all the kids are a year and a half older now.

6/26/2010 -- I want to know: Who hid their gum on the carpet behind the plant??? My guess, a certain 4 year old sneaky little girl!

7/2/2010 -- "Dear Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, I LOVE YOU! With <5 drops of H2O on a corner and wrung out, you take ballpoint pen off the cover of a hardback book. In doing so, you spared 4-yo Child C a beating from 7-yo Child B. You are amazing. Thank you for restoring peace between my children. Oh and for the super-cleaning job! Now if you'd only begin taking the initiative to clean the rest of my home without me having to hold onto you."

7/3/2010 -- If you come visit, you might be surprised and wonder about the whole roll of toilet paper unrolled in a heap on the bathroom floor... or you might not.

7/5/2010-- All of a sudden there are bubbles floating around my family room…

7/8/2010 -- If you hear a watermelon gurgling, get it out of the house NOW! Or it might already be too late.

7/8/2010 -- First, a watermelon exploded in the kitchen. Second, 4yo S peed in front of the 'fridge (again). Let's not think about "third time's a charm" today, m'kay? Just sayin!

7/8/2010 -- "The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being." Warren Buffett

7/8/2010 -- Walking through the kitchen just now I found a sliced kiwi on the kid's table and my kitchen scissors on the counter - covered in kiwi. Creative. Funny thing is, the kids have only been home a few times today for a few minutes each time. When did they do this? It must have been during the lightening snack round!

7/12/2010 -- Two of the 3 kids are eating salisbury steak, the other is eating what I actually made for dinner. 4yo Child C just asked for more roastberry beef. She just cracks me up!

7/14/2010 -- kitchen floor + 1/2 gallon of lemonade + disobedient 4 year old = not a happy momma at the moment. Do you have any idea how much of the kitchen floor a 1/2 gallon of lemonade can cover? I do.

7/18/2010 -- I'm listening to my kids tell me about the time they locked 4yo in the bunny cage. I've heard this story before but always doubted it's reality. Now I'm starting to believe it. But only the basic version, not the embellishments that keep getting added: it was all day, mom and dad weren't home, mom wasn't home and dad was asleep. Those are just too unlikely. But would 7yo Child B lock 4yo Child C in the bunny cage? Yes. She would.

7/20/2010 -- I took my 3 girls to see Toy Story 3. Now the kids want all their old toys down from the attic. They don't have any room for them because the house is over-flowing with all the toys that have yet to make it up there. Great, now they'll never want to part with anything! (It's a little frustrating that's what they got out of the movie.)

DING! End of Round 1

Growing Up

If you read my February post Light at the End of the Tunnel, you may remember that 5-year old, child C, has started going through some difficulties with her sensory system. She avoids certain types of clothes and completely melts down if she has to wear them, to the point where I just don't think it's necessary to make her wear those clothes at this time.

I mean, really, have you tried to take a child to the store just so she could flail about in the middle of an aisle trying to rip her clothes off her skin? Have you tried to carry such a child, naked, out of the store? Yeah, I'm not going to either! However , in order to help her adjust gradually, we have a reward system in place to help her get used to these sensations slowly and for short periods of time. For example, if she wears a certain piece of clothing for 10 minutes then she earns a sticker, or a penny, or a few minutes with a favorite activity. This is how she adjusted to wearing winter boots. Uhm, that's also when she gave up underwear... but I digress.

She is now back to wearing underwear and skorts and tights. We also had a mini-milestone when one day she wore this:

Did I say "mini"?
Okay, that was huge.

She wore the tank top, jacket, and jeans for about 30 minutes before ditching them. However, she wore them and, yes, she did get rewarded. She has tried the jeans on a couple times on her own since then and promptly taken them back off. The jacket has become part of her regular wardrobe. Yay!

This (below) is what you would probably see her wearing on any given day, including Sunday. If not this, then replace the leotard with an Ariel one-piece swimsuit. Yes, even on Sundays. I know, but really, would we even make it to church if she pulled the grocery store scenario?

But, did you notice something about my baby girl? Uh, besides that she wrote all over herself with, apparently, non-washable marker ...



She is growing up, you know. It's funny how certain things are exciting when your oldest goes through them and then we grieve a little when our youngest goes through them. Okay, look closely so you don't miss it.

*sniffle*

Someone make sure the Tooth Fairy doesn't get distracted tonight!

The light at the end of the tunnel

"There is a light at the end of the tunnel." It's a note of encouragement when things are dark and difficult that things will get better - the light. Looking at the glass as half full, instead of half empty. Being positive. Looking at the bright side. Right?

There is a saying in the autism community. Perhaps you've heard it applied to other situations. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... and it's a train. Yes, I've said it. I've believed it. I've let it get me down and then I feel like I have no hope, not as a mom and not for my daughter. Then one day, God spoke to me and reminded me that He doesn't make mistakes. He knew before He made her that there would be challenges for her. That there would be challenges for us, her parents. But aren't there challenges anyway? Parenting is not easy. In fact, it is probably the hardest thing I have ever done - even without autism and sensory disorders in the mix.

Children have minds of their own. Their own opinions and preferences. Their own pet peeves. Their own attitudes. We try to form them into the people we would like them to become, but they still choose whether to be the way we encourage and influence them to be or whether to explore the foreign territory of temptation. Children learn more by example, mimicry, if you will, than by what we tell them. That's probably what makes parenting so difficult.

I got off track... Let's go back to the light at the end of the tunnel. Child B has always been a little different. In short doses, you likely wouldn't even notice. But we did. Not just in comparison to A, either. Her gross motor skills were beyond belief at a very young age. When most babies were just learning to roll over, B was climbing. She couldn't crawl yet, but she could pull herself up and climb at 5 months. I took A to the bathroom and left my 5-month old baby on a bare floor in a room with a child-size table where A left her lunch of beef-a-roni. What did I find when I came back? B was standing up, holding onto the table, and eating beef-a-roni with one hand! Yes, she was 5-months old. At 10 months, she was learning to walk, which isn't unusual for a 10-month old, but to find her standing on the sit-and-spin, spinning herself and giggling, was a bit unusual. Even more so was pulling her off the arm of the rocking chair, where she was standing and holding onto the back of the chair with one hand, and moving back and forth to make the chair rock, squealing, "Whee!" I knew she would be a handful.

It took some time to put the pieces together that she sought stimulation by swinging, spinning, balancing, etc. She would put things on her head that were heavy in order to feel the pressure. But light touch would send her through the roof. She couldn't be comforted when injured. Not through nursing, swaddling, cuddling, even from birth. She wouldn't have any part of it if she was upset or hurt. She still has a hard time with comfort - 8 years later. And some things just didn't affect her much - like when her elbow was dislocated in a spinning/swinging incident when she was 2. She simply held her wrist and whimpered a few times before falling asleep rather quickly. (I knew something wasn't right and she had it fixed within an hour.) And she avoided groups of peers during play dates, often retreating to a quiet place where she could play alone, but then later she would ask why no one was playing with her.

Now some may ask how early she received any vaccinations, and I will assure you that she was demonstrating enough "quirkiness" early enough that vaccination played no role in the challenges that B has. She did, however, have a completely natural malpositioned birth. She had significant bruising and some muscle rigidity. Did that play a role? Only God knows. And He was OK with it. He has a plan for her and has provided excellent therapeutic services to help her learn how to deal with what is difficult for her and how to interact better with others. What she has not needed any help with, and God has blessed her with, is her ability to tell it like it is. She is very literal and brings great joy to our lives with her questions and quick observations. She notices everything.

When she first became aware of communion, her eyes looked like they would pop out of her head. As the basket of bread and little cups of juice passed, she asked, almost horrified, "Is that really Jesus' skin and blood?" Later that day I explained to her how they represent exactly what she suspected and she had tears in her eyes. I remember thinking that even at the young age she was, "She gets it." She has an amazing knack for understanding things way beyond her years and asking when she doesn't. Silly books like Amelia Bedelia have helped her understand figures of speech and when something isn't literal. In fact, she uses the word "literally" quite frequently in order to let others know when she really means what she's saying.

So, what does this have to do with the light at the end of the tunnel? Well, B has made tremendous progress. We just celebrated her 8th birthday this past week. A couple years ago, when she was 6, she seemed more like a 4-year old in maturity. Now I have to remind myself that she just turned 8, she is not 9! We have stepped into the light.

Oh, but did I mention that in the past couple weeks, my just-turned-5-year old can't stand the way underwear feels? To the point where she won't wear it. She throws herself on the floor screaming, trying to rip it off. She hasn't worn pants in 2 or 3 years because she doesn't like them. She used to wear skorts, until the underwear thing started. She can't stand those now either. She might wear a skirt when we leave the house, if I put it on her and carry her out while she kicks and screams... and I make her wear something under it! She has developed what seems like a cough to an observer. However, it is chronic - every couple seconds, clearing her throat or exhaling deeply, like a sigh, every few seconds. In other words... constantly. What is going on? It's all sensory. While B was mostly a sensory seeker, it seems that C is mostly sensory-avoidant, which is a little more challenging. Think about it... if you know you need something, you seek it out and the need is met. On the other hand, if something bothers you, you will avoid it, even if it the very thing you need in order to get better. She avoids those sensations that she needs to be exposed to in order to get used to it. If you cannot relate to this, just take my word for it - it's hard, it's exhausting, and it's frustrating.

This is where I could say that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train. Yes, I have thought to myself, probably even said out loud, "Great. Another one. I thought this was behind us." I will be honest and say that I don't look forward to taking this road with another daughter because it is so hard - for her and for me. However, the light is real. And God walked with us through it the first time. He is walking with us this time. He never left us. In fact, He knew before we did that 2 of our children would have sensory disorders. I am so thankful it's only a sensory disorder and not something worse - not something that would take her from me yet or that would require expensive medicine or extensive time in the hospital. So thankful that there are known therapies to help her. And I look forward to the day that I rejoice when she shows improvements. We've had glimpses of those days when her struggles are less. I so clearly remember the tears of joy that I cried when B asked me to brush her hair for the first time. She was almost 5 years old and brushing her hair had been torture to her every day of her life to that point. I know that God will get us through this with C, just as He did with B.

And I believe that God does not make mistakes. I trust in Him that He will use these challenges in our lives to glorify Him.

A birthday blog post

Wednesday was my baby's birthday. She's 5 now. She'll always be my baby, though. I wanted the day to be all about her. We worked up to it slowly...

She wanted a multi-colored cake. This is her cake from last year:

I just didn't have it in me to bake so many thin cakes this year (I think it was only 2 boxes split into 3 cakes each and wasn't hard, just time consuming.) So this year, I used Dawn's tutorial for candy clay flowers. It was so easy and all the kids made some. They had a great time making them in 3 different sizes. Here is the big one that Child A made:
So all 3 girls made a dual-colored cake, with green frosting, flowers, and snails. Yes, snails. I don't know why and I didn't question it, m'kay?

She loved the cake. It was a great day with lots of singing and excitement between the sisters.

She asked for a real dinosaur that would eat her sisters and then would spit them out when she wanted it to. She didn't get one. She was quite happy with her gifts anyway. She has been wanting something her sisters have and we found one used that was a reasonable price, so that was her gift. It was a very exciting moment when she opened the box and the excitement carried through the rest of the day!

Grandpa made a quick stop by to say Happy Birthday and the day was complete.

There were some sad elements of the day that I'll save for another blog entry so as not to steal the joy from C's birthday. It was a great day for her and our family enjoyed it and that's what was important for her birthday!

I still can't believe my baby is five!!!

Observations from McDonald's

I spent a couple hours one-on-one with my almost-5-year old daughter, Child C. I can't believe she is almost 5! It was a fun and lovely time. Her giggle is contagious and I smiled so much my cheeks ache. Her facial expressions make me laugh from my belly. I love those moments.

What I don't love are some of the things that I observed in the play place at our local McDonald's. In sharing these observations, please understand that I am not judging anyone. I am intrigued and concerned. If you can shed light on any of these scenarios by commenting, please do. I'd love to have a better understanding or your opinion.

Observation #1: Men who sit alone or with a male friend in the play place area.
Not that I spent a lot of time in the play place area, but in the 10-1/2 years that I have been there a couple or few times a year, I don't think I have ever observed a woman sitting alone or in a group of women where none of them had a child with them. If I had, this would apply to them, too. Why do men sit in the play place seating area (eating or not) when there are several children playing, it's loud, and there are plenty of seats available in the other part of the restaurant? It's not as if this is a quieter place to sit, because it isn't. So, why?

Observation #2: People who talk on their cell phone in the play place area.
OK, if you have children who are playing, I understand that you wouldn't leave them unattended to take or make a call. But this isn't a quiet place to be on the phone, which means you have to speak louder and many people will hear your call - including children. Why wouldn't you keep it to, "Hey, I'm at Mickey D's with the kids, can I call you back when it's quieter?" This evening, this took place with someone who also fell into my Observation #1. Unfortunately, this man also was using profanity in about every third sentence. I did gently approach him (just as I would a child, because I was intimidated to confront him based on his language) and he agreed to be more careful with his language. But, should one really need to be approached about such a thing in a play place?

Observation #3: People who eat their food in the play place area, but then go sit in the other part of the restaurant when finished eating.
This just baffles me. Why would you choose to eat your food in a closed off room where kids may have been coughing and sneezing, running around all the tables and wiping their hands on all the chairs? Why would you want to eat where the kid music is blaring and the shrieking is so loud that you can't hear the music or understand the kids? If you don't have kids with you, I just don't understand this one. And see Observation #4 for why you might want to reconsider and sit at a table that is more likely be clean, because just because it looks clean, doesn't mean it is clean. By the way, Profanity Guy from Observation #2, fell into this observation as well. Of course, he wasn't on the phone once he left the play place.

Observation #4: Parents who don't supervise their children in the play place area.
Don't all parents look forward to the moment when they can turn their kids loose and let them be kids without having to watch every move they make? I know I do. I have a daughter with a lot of energy. She was so exhausting when she was a toddler and up until the age of 6 or so. I couldn't wait for a moment when someone else could watch her or when I didn't have to keep reeling her back in. So, I understand how when those play place doors close, some parents sort of shut their kids out of their minds. I've done that. But I always kept one eye open. Maybe because I'm paranoid that something will happen - someone will get hurt or someone will disappear. So, help me understand how a mom with an older boy (around 11-13) and a younger boy (2 or3) would not notice or care when the younger boy was pushing repeatedly on the emergency exit door. You know, the one with the alarm? What about when he started playing with the fire alarm on the wall by the door? If it hadn't been for my gasp, to which the mom still didn't turn around to see about what someone was gasping, I am sure he would've pulled that alarm and playtime would've been over for everyone until the fire department came to turn the alarm off. And finally, how do you not notice or care when your younger boy is climbing on several tables, crawling and walking around on the tables with his shoes on, and jumping from one table to the next? Isn't the play place sufficient to meet the climbing needs of a child? OK, maybe your child doesn't like confined spaces, but then perhaps he should wear a coat and be taken to a park. Maybe the older boy was supposed to be watching the younger one. I don't know. Maybe there is an explanation that I am overlooking, so please help me understand what may have been going on here other than the obvious assumptions.

Am I alone in "things that make you go hmmm" at McDonald's (and I'm not talking about the food)? What can you share?

Things kids say and hear: 3

Monkey Bread

While sampling monkey bread at Trader Joe's, I asked my 4-year old if she would like to try a piece. If you're not familiar with monkey bread, it's fingerfuls of dough that have been dredged in butter, sugar, and cinnamon, then dumped into a pan and baked. It's not healthy at all, but oh-so tasty! (and sticky.) Here is a recipe from Pioneer Woman, if you'd like to try it. It's easy and kids love to help make it and eat it. Well, some kids don't.

So, I offered a piece to each my 3 girls, with the older two happily sampling. Child C, however, looked at me with wide eyes and insisted she did not want to try it, which surprised me. So I asked her, “Do you know what monkey bread is?”
Her: “Yep.”
Me: "You do? What is it?"
Her, in a shy squeaky voice: "Uh-uh."
Me: “Is it made of monkey toes?”
Her, giggling: “Nope.”
Me: “Is it made of monkey eyes?”
Her, giggling more: “Nope”
Me: “Well then, what is it made of?”
Her: “CAT!”

I guess I wouldn't eat it either, if I thought it was made from cat!

Who's your momma?

Back when Child C was only a year or two, (now 4-1/2), Child B convinced her that she was C's mommy. Yep, C would call her mommy, curl up on her lap, walk holding her hand, and when I would ask C if she was playing she would sweetly say, "yes." Then I would ask her who was her real mommy? She would sweetly reply that B was her real mommy.

Child B and I talked about how important it is for a child to know who their mom and dad are, not only by appearance, but by name. We talked about how it's OK to play and pretend, but that she shouldn't confuse C and be sure that C knows they are playing and that I am their real mommy.

Now and then they will still pretend that B is mommy. But it's pretend and C understands that.

Today, as we were walking through the grocery store, the kids kept calling me Grandma. You read that right. I wasn't sure I heard it right the first time. So I asked what they were talking about. B addressed me with "Grandma". So I asked why they were calling me Grandma. B firmly explained to me that she is C's mom which makes me the Grandma (B is 7!) and C was in total agreement. I really hadn't planned on becoming a grandma this way. I certainly was getting some strange looks in the store as they continued to call me Grandma.

Sometimes I wonder if they really realize it's pretend or if they believe it.

Oh, and this morning we were talking about the distinguishing characteristics of mammals and that we are mammals. We talked about how God made people different than animals, but people are mammals. It was so cute when C asked if we have mammal seeds. Uh, yeah, sort of.

Parents, don't blink.

We recently went on a long drive, of which I will blog soon. I still need to get all my thoughts together and collected in some organized fashion. And find my camera cord so I can include some thought-provoking pictures.

In the mean time, I thought I'd share this amusing tidbit from this morning. Four-year old Child C dressed herself this morning. She chose a pink pair of pants. Pants. Not shorts. It's 85 degrees outside. She usually chooses 2 or 3 days of the week to dress inappropriately for the weather (like trying to wear a thin skirt and crocs in the snow), so these pants were last worn about 2 weeks ago before we left for our trip. In fact, they were packed and taken along just in case she felt the need to wear them in 95-degree Oklahoma heat.

This morning, on second glance at the pants, I noticed they were 3 inches too small. When did she grow a whole 3 inches taller? Seriously, parents can't blink without missing something!

Things kids say and hear: 2

Do you remember these?

Yes, those are jelly bracelets, like from the 80s.

They're ba-aa-aaccckkkk.

I don't know if it's a good thing or not. There are online rumors about symbolism, but really, on a young child they are just bracelets. In our house, we call them friendship bracelets. They are cheap, so I don't care if they get lost. If the kids want to trade them, great. I really don't mind. Normally that sort of thing drives me crazy, but not these. If they want 'em all up and down their arm, go for it. If they want to give 'em away, that's fine too. I like that the kids finally have something that I don't care if they lose or trade. It's liberating.

But I didn't realize they were international. Because, after sorting them and divvying them up and talking about all the trading and fun they'll have with their friendship bracelets, I realized that once again we either aren't speaking clearly or little ears just aren't hearing clearly.

My sweet 4-yo came up to me and told me excitedly that she hopes the neighbor girl's bracelets are French, too!

(Uhm, if you didn't get that, she thought they were French-ip bracelets! I didn't correct her. It's cute. Unless you're French. Then you're probably insulted. Sorry, I think it's cute.)

WFMW - Not tweeting every detail of my life

Don't get me wrong; I like Twitter. I like reading what other people are up to and I like to put something out there myself on occasion. But after reading this article earlier in March, and learning about pleaserobme.com, I realized that I want to keep my tweets cautious. (Pleaserobme.com is no longer posting tweets that announce people leaving their homes, but now that the awareness is raised, it is raised for criminals and honest folk alike, so caution should still be exercised.)

So, I love to read what you all are up to and I hope you'll keep tweeting funny stuff and things worth pondering. But I also hope you'll be careful when tweeting from your phones that you are not home or that you are going out or on vacation.

Today I was reminded of the stress-relieving value of Twitter, though, when my very struggling-to-be-independent 4yo (C) decided to put pepper on every one's lunch and made it too spicy for anyone to eat. With only a couple slices of bread in the house, off we went to Aldi for bread for pb&j! Argh. That was just the beginning of C's antics for the day. Anyone want a 4yo? (Not really! Well, maybe. I'm hoping and praying that tomorrow will be a better day for both of us!) I didn't tweet it, but did consider it. It goes back to that old saying about shouting it from the mountain tops. With Twitter, save your voice.

Being careful what I tweet works for me. Please be careful what you tweet.

To read what works for many others, hop on over to WeAreTHATFamily.

If you'd like to follow my rare tweets on Twitter, you'll have to request being a follower.

Things this Thursday

Once again, I am participating in Homeschool-dad’s Things this Thursday. Be sure to head on over there and see what he’s been up to.

Here are my Things this Thursday:

1. Our new dryer was delivered bright and early Monday morning. Yeah! Woo-hoo! Mini-celebration! Oh, ahem, sorry. I'll stop my happy dance now. You're welcome. I am just about caught up on laundry and can tackle some other task for a few days before I have to start all over again.


2. Due to all the excitement we’ve had lately in our house, I hadn’t mentioned that no, I didn’t feel the earthquake in Illinois a few weeks ago (although many people I know, including my dad, did), but I do feel like there is not enough time in the day. Really? The earthquake this week near Chile made the days shorter?


3. I’m still loving this card!


4. Is 40 degrees really warm enough for shorts if there are still several inches of snow on the ground? I mean, come on, that snow is cold. Someone really should tell the 9-10 year old boys down the street to wait another month. (I shivered just watching them!)


5. I realized this week that we are getting closer to getting through our curriculum this year and only have 2-1/2 months left of “structured” schooling. Two more weeks in the six weeks more of winter that the groundhog left us and yesterday and today are SUNNY! Look out summer, we are getting ready for you! (But not pulling out the shorts just yet.)


6. Child C (4) recently started spelling her last name and has finally gotten all 10 numbers of her phone number memorized. She’s still working on her address. My kids still have no idea that they have to dial a 1 before every phone number in the US from where we live. We’ll get to that eventually, I guess.


7. Is there anything sweeter in life than having a precious 4-year old on your lap singing the ABCs with her nice, warm head against your cheek? That’s what I’m enjoying right now!

What have you been up to this week?

Not Me Monday: mayo, stitches, and lost child

It's been a FULL week and I'm not very excited to share it. It was more eventful than I like, but here goes.

A little over a week ago, we spent a couple nights in a hotel in Peoria, Illinois. It was a great trip and we saw over 80 bald eagles near the Illinois River (the whole purpose of the trip), but the chlorine in the hotel's pool bleached our swimming suites, burned the kids eyes and skin, and turned their beautiful blonde hair into sticks! It took 3 full bottles of hotel shampoo to get their hair to feel like I could condition it and then 5 bottles of hotel conditioner to be able to brush it (I was glopping it on as I was brushing!) I have left a message at the front desk and over the phone for the manager and have yet to hear back... The rest of the hotel stay was great, though!

So, upon returning home, trying to brush my daughters' hair was again a challenge, as it still was not yet back to normal. As I was spraying olive oil onto Child B, I called my hairdresser to find out her opinion. She suggested mayonnaise. Yep. The sandwich kind. One of my daughters cannot stand mayo. Not. one. bit. So, of course, I did not put it in her hair. Nope. Not me. I didn't put her in the shower and wash her hair well, brush it and slather the mayo on real thick before wrapping it in a towel for 3 hours. I wouldn't do that to her, especially not with her gagging while I was doing it. Then when her older sister was in the shower and taunting her, I didn't ask if I could have a piec eof bread and tomatoes because she smelled SO good! Further, I wouldn't tell her that it was all a joke and she was going to be the only one to have to do this. Nope, I wouldn't tease my own daughter like that. (I did then go on to tell that I was teasing and yes her sister would also really have to have mayo in her hair!)

Child B, not very happy about having mayo in her hair:

I did not continue to make mayonnaise jokes all day long.

Later that night, when hubby came home from, he didn't say that dinner smelled delicious and ask if there was mayonnaise in it, giving his middle daughter a teasing look.

Tuesday was Child B's birthday - the BIG 7! We went to Bible Study in the morning, as usual for Tuesdays. My group was appropriately interrupted because Child C fell and busted her chin open again (just a little above where she did it on April Fools Day last year.) I had awful flashbacks of her very painful and scary experience getting stitches. But we left quickly and dropped A and B off with a neighbor and I headed to the local urgent care with C. Having forgotten to take pictures last time, I did not keep telling myself over and over again, "Take a picture when we get there. Take a picture when we get there."

Before (it held closed nicely!):

This one wasn't as bad as last time and closed together nicely, so they were able to glue it. Yeah! (Check back in a day or two for how this was a clear answer to prayer!!!)

After (with glue):

Today, we did not go to our homeschool group's Valentine's Bowling Party. Not the day after Valentine's Day. That doesn't make sense. While there, I did not let C slide around on the floor while watching her ball, that she rolled, barely make it down the lane.

And even if I would have, I wouldn't have let her sister, B, go to the bathroom unattended. The bathroom is RIGHT by the lane we were bowling on and right next to the party room we were in. So, of course, I would feel the need to go with her, lugging 4 yo C with me. Right? So after 15 minutes of her not emerging from the bathroom, I went looking for her and really, seriously did not find her. Not in the bathroom, not in the hall, not outside, not in the bar (where we had to go get cups earlier), not out the other door, not anywhere. Remember, I had not seen her for 15 minutes! When A told the lady at the register/shoe checkout that her sister was missing, she replied "OK." WHAT?!? So, I asked her specifically to page her, while several parents are looking and a boy was sent into the men's room to look. Still not anywhere. So, I did not resort to my mother's instinct to locate my lost daughter at all cost and call 911. (She has had a tendency to wander off in the past and the bowling alley was not rented out to our group exclusively, so two factors there that I thought justified this phone call.) Just as I was confirming my daughter's description and they were about to dispatch an officer, someone came up and told me B was in the other bathroom. I had no idea there was another bathroom - on the other end of the bowling alley(and the lady who works there didn't ask me if I had checked both bathrooms!) Yeah. Daughter found. Call canceled. (Isn't it great that they confirm, "So you no longer need an officer to respond to this call?") Next time I know to scope out all the bathrooms! And maybe really not let her go unattended. Or at least make sure she is in the one RIGHT next to us.

If you want to read about what other's aren't doing, head on over to MckMama's for Not Me Monday! (Most of them are funnier than this one. But it was cathartic to get it out!)

Not Me Monday: cheese crackers

My children always sit at the table and have a snack. They certainly do NOT sneak their snack over to the couch and play with it. Nope. I would never allow my children to put their food in between their toes. Not me! But I guess if they did, it would be OK because my children would never go more than a few days without a bath. I wouldn't let them go long enough for their toenails to be visibly dirty. Not me! And even if I did, I certainly wouldn't let them eat anything that had been between their toes. Really, who knows when those toes were last washed?

If you're curious about what other moms aren't doing, or would simply like some light-hearted humor, head on over to MckMama's for Not Me Monday!